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Rules of Veterinary Cosmic Consciousness
May. 11th, 2002 06:49 am1) There is no such thing as a free pet.
2) Never name your pet 'Lucky.'
Animals named Lucky just have a giant cosmic Kick Me sign hung around their necks. I think the universe views it as a personal challenge. Witness the most recent Lucky I treated, who started life as a stray, and in less than 12 hours was first run over by the people trying to adopt her, then poisoned by them when they decided to give her Tylenol instead of the aspirin I prescribed.
For those of you playing along in the audience, Tylenol kills cats. No exceptions. There is no safe dose, just the toxic dose and the more-toxic dose. This kitten survived due to immediate treatment, only to be taken out of the hospital early because the family decided they didn't want to pay for continued care. Yep, she's real Lucky.
Their defense was that they figured aspirin and tylenol were more or less the same thing, and that I didn't tell them *not* to give Tylenol. I didn't tell them not to give the kitten a whirly-fun ride on the blades of their food processor either, but I'll bet they figured that one out..... I decided to not tell them not to go screw themselves sideways.
How much do I need to spell out for people? Every time I decide to err on the side of figuring that they couldn't have survived to adulthood without learning a few basic concepts, fate conspires to prove me wrong. I assume that people will know that aspirin and tylenol are not the same thing. I assume that if something has 'DO NOT USE ON CATS' written on it in screaming red letters in three places, they won't use it on their cat. I assume that people will realize that if a raccoon is walking towards them down the middle of their street in broad daylight, that does not mean that it's tame and friendly, and that petting it is a bad idea. I assume that people will realize that if a baby bunny has been completely skinned by their cat, there's not much we can do to save it. I assume that if I tell people that some particular medication is vital to their pet's survival, they will believe me and give it.
And when I don't assume these things, and spell them out, people are offended because they think I'm treating them like imbeciles. There must be a happy medium in here somewhere.
2) Never name your pet 'Lucky.'
Animals named Lucky just have a giant cosmic Kick Me sign hung around their necks. I think the universe views it as a personal challenge. Witness the most recent Lucky I treated, who started life as a stray, and in less than 12 hours was first run over by the people trying to adopt her, then poisoned by them when they decided to give her Tylenol instead of the aspirin I prescribed.
For those of you playing along in the audience, Tylenol kills cats. No exceptions. There is no safe dose, just the toxic dose and the more-toxic dose. This kitten survived due to immediate treatment, only to be taken out of the hospital early because the family decided they didn't want to pay for continued care. Yep, she's real Lucky.
Their defense was that they figured aspirin and tylenol were more or less the same thing, and that I didn't tell them *not* to give Tylenol. I didn't tell them not to give the kitten a whirly-fun ride on the blades of their food processor either, but I'll bet they figured that one out..... I decided to not tell them not to go screw themselves sideways.
How much do I need to spell out for people? Every time I decide to err on the side of figuring that they couldn't have survived to adulthood without learning a few basic concepts, fate conspires to prove me wrong. I assume that people will know that aspirin and tylenol are not the same thing. I assume that if something has 'DO NOT USE ON CATS' written on it in screaming red letters in three places, they won't use it on their cat. I assume that people will realize that if a raccoon is walking towards them down the middle of their street in broad daylight, that does not mean that it's tame and friendly, and that petting it is a bad idea. I assume that people will realize that if a baby bunny has been completely skinned by their cat, there's not much we can do to save it. I assume that if I tell people that some particular medication is vital to their pet's survival, they will believe me and give it.
And when I don't assume these things, and spell them out, people are offended because they think I'm treating them like imbeciles. There must be a happy medium in here somewhere.
