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Wow. I'm married now. Just.... wow.
I have no idea of how to write everything up here. I've thought about so many different approaches, from the humorous to the sappy and everything in between, but nothing seems to quite describe the power and the enormity and the joy and the perfection of the past few days. Everything went so incredibly smoothly and perfectly that I still can't quite believe that it's done and real. I should write a few things down, though, just for the sake of my own imperfect memory.
The weather was perfect for our outdoor rehearsal Saturday morning. The members of the wedding party seemed to get along despite most of them having never met before. Bridal party bonding time over pedicures was fabulous, and I've been told the gents had at least a moderate amount of fun playing Lasertag. Setting aside that evening for my sweetie and I to have dinner together was nothing short of brilliant, since it was nearly the only alone-time we had all weekend.
The pre-wedding party was quite possibly the only thing the hotel did right, but it was worth the rest of the incompetence to have that go smoothly. It was wonderful to have some extra time with friends we don't see too often, and to listen to a couple of my favorite guitarists, and I was delighted to see several circles of friends blend together and enjoy each other's company as much as I had hoped they would.
I actually managed to sleep Sunday night, and eat breakfast the next morning, and avoid completely catastrophizing when the hairdresser was half an hour late. She did show up, though, and everyone was curled and primped and painted while I sat half outside my own head speculating about when I would start to feel like a bride. I continued to ponder this question while we drove to the ceremony, inspected our flowers (stunning), the cake (absolutely gorgeous), and the decorated rooms for ceremony and reception (perfect), then as the bridesmaids dressed and I paced around waiting to be stuffed into my costume.
Stockings, shoes, garter, even crinolines, and I still just felt like I was wearing a rather silly costume. My two trusty sidekicks managed to push, pull, button, zip, and hook me into my dress... and I felt like a mannequin. Then the prelude music started, and the veil was tucked into my hair, and somehow a magic transformation occured and I became Bridelady. Luckily, my flower girl managed to distract me from any last-minute panicking and hyperventilation by tying her teddy bear up in compromising positions with the ribbon originally meant for her hair.
I wish I could have seen the processional - I can only imagine how lovely everyone looked walking towards the arch. I wish I could have seen everyone gathered there for us. The moment I stepped into the aisle, the world narrowed to the floor beneath me and the man in front of me. I felt like I was being pulled by a magnet, and that I wouldn't be complete until my hands were in his. Then they were, and I was, and the world was perfect and right again. The ceremony was everything I wanted it to be, meaningful and vivid and powerful strong magic, worked by us and so many of our friends.
The reception was almost an afterthought, which is kind of strange to my thinking. But I was so overwhelmed by the ceremony itself that I didn't need anything else. It was good, and it was fun, and it made me happier than I could imagine to see so many of my friends having so much fun. Our first dance was a delight, and worlds easier than every time we practiced it. The few bites of food I managed to sneak in between hugs were wonderful. It was a different kind of magic, I guess, and the best way I can imagine to make use of all the positive energy we raised. And there was dancing, and there was family, both blood and chosen, and there was hugging, and I smiled so much that my face still ached this morning. I have never felt so loved in all my life - both by my husband and by everyone there. It still hasn't worn off; I hope it never does.
Today we unwind, and open the not-so-small tower of gifts our extravagantly generous friends and family have given us, and pack for our honeymoon. Tomorrow we're off on our honeymoon. We'll be back eventually, and the world will start moving in normal patterns again. But I'll still be married, and it'll still be pretty damn amazing.
Wow.
I have no idea of how to write everything up here. I've thought about so many different approaches, from the humorous to the sappy and everything in between, but nothing seems to quite describe the power and the enormity and the joy and the perfection of the past few days. Everything went so incredibly smoothly and perfectly that I still can't quite believe that it's done and real. I should write a few things down, though, just for the sake of my own imperfect memory.
The weather was perfect for our outdoor rehearsal Saturday morning. The members of the wedding party seemed to get along despite most of them having never met before. Bridal party bonding time over pedicures was fabulous, and I've been told the gents had at least a moderate amount of fun playing Lasertag. Setting aside that evening for my sweetie and I to have dinner together was nothing short of brilliant, since it was nearly the only alone-time we had all weekend.
The pre-wedding party was quite possibly the only thing the hotel did right, but it was worth the rest of the incompetence to have that go smoothly. It was wonderful to have some extra time with friends we don't see too often, and to listen to a couple of my favorite guitarists, and I was delighted to see several circles of friends blend together and enjoy each other's company as much as I had hoped they would.
I actually managed to sleep Sunday night, and eat breakfast the next morning, and avoid completely catastrophizing when the hairdresser was half an hour late. She did show up, though, and everyone was curled and primped and painted while I sat half outside my own head speculating about when I would start to feel like a bride. I continued to ponder this question while we drove to the ceremony, inspected our flowers (stunning), the cake (absolutely gorgeous), and the decorated rooms for ceremony and reception (perfect), then as the bridesmaids dressed and I paced around waiting to be stuffed into my costume.
Stockings, shoes, garter, even crinolines, and I still just felt like I was wearing a rather silly costume. My two trusty sidekicks managed to push, pull, button, zip, and hook me into my dress... and I felt like a mannequin. Then the prelude music started, and the veil was tucked into my hair, and somehow a magic transformation occured and I became Bridelady. Luckily, my flower girl managed to distract me from any last-minute panicking and hyperventilation by tying her teddy bear up in compromising positions with the ribbon originally meant for her hair.
I wish I could have seen the processional - I can only imagine how lovely everyone looked walking towards the arch. I wish I could have seen everyone gathered there for us. The moment I stepped into the aisle, the world narrowed to the floor beneath me and the man in front of me. I felt like I was being pulled by a magnet, and that I wouldn't be complete until my hands were in his. Then they were, and I was, and the world was perfect and right again. The ceremony was everything I wanted it to be, meaningful and vivid and powerful strong magic, worked by us and so many of our friends.
The reception was almost an afterthought, which is kind of strange to my thinking. But I was so overwhelmed by the ceremony itself that I didn't need anything else. It was good, and it was fun, and it made me happier than I could imagine to see so many of my friends having so much fun. Our first dance was a delight, and worlds easier than every time we practiced it. The few bites of food I managed to sneak in between hugs were wonderful. It was a different kind of magic, I guess, and the best way I can imagine to make use of all the positive energy we raised. And there was dancing, and there was family, both blood and chosen, and there was hugging, and I smiled so much that my face still ached this morning. I have never felt so loved in all my life - both by my husband and by everyone there. It still hasn't worn off; I hope it never does.
Today we unwind, and open the not-so-small tower of gifts our extravagantly generous friends and family have given us, and pack for our honeymoon. Tomorrow we're off on our honeymoon. We'll be back eventually, and the world will start moving in normal patterns again. But I'll still be married, and it'll still be pretty damn amazing.
Wow.
