Jargon Abuse

One of the more interesting and quirky aspects of my profession is the collection of misused and incorrect words I get from my clients. I don't know quite where they come from - I'm sure most of them stem from mishearings and are perpetuated by inertia and a lack of desire to actually learn and comprehend, but part of me is convinced that there's at least an element of attempting to impress the medical professional by throwing their own jargon back at them.

Some are more interesting than others, and some are incredibly common to the point that I don't even notice them most of the time. I've given up on trying to correct people who talk about having their dog or cat spaded, and while I still try to explain the incorrect assumptions behind the distemperament shot, I doubt anyone actually listens to what I'm saying.

However, I wasn't quite sure how to respond to the owner today who came in concerned that his pet had crustaceans in its eyes. I'm quite proud just that I managed not to giggle, given the fact that my overactive and incredibly energetic imagination, fueled by a whole weekend of sleep deprivation, conjured up images of a small furry animal with tiny pink shrimp clinging to its eyelashes, waving their bitty little legs in gentle rhythmic motions.....