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Shining As Hard As I Can
Jan. 19th, 2007 10:14 pmAs much as Arisia was good, and as much as I was trying to ride the positive wave of that for as long as I could, I'm starting to run out of sunshine in my soul.
I'm doing the best I can to make 2007 a good year. Unfortunately, fate is conspiring against me. I'm good at problem-solving, and I'm good at coping with emergencies, and I can keep my head in a crisis as long as there's something I can do. Activity, and the process of fixing things, keeps me going - it's only when there's nothing left to do that I get frayed around the edges.
My husband lost his job this week - his company laid him off, no fault on either side. He's job-hunting, and handling it amazingly well, but..... there's nothing I can do. I can't fix this, I can't really affect it at all, and there's not much I can really do to impact our quality of life in the meantime, other than keep working and not binge-spend. Not that I usually do that, either.
And, of course, this hit us the day after we placed an offer on a particularly nice house. Luckily, that meant we had time to pull the offer before we were bound into any unbreakable contracts, but that also means that the other major project I had to focus on has been back-burnered indefinitely, too.
I've got other things to focus on. I have smaller, less life-impacting projects, and I have work to do, and I'm doing my best not to let the anxiety take too big a bite out of me. And y'all have been helping with that - the comments on my last entry have given me some much-needed grins. Even so, I'm up against the kind of conflict I handle least well, that being one I can't do anything about except worry.
So if you see me looking kind of hidden or hunted over the next little while, until our lives get back on a more even keel, I apologize in advance. I'm doing my best to keep shining, but I'm finding I need more and more off-time to support those moments that I'm on.....
I'm doing the best I can to make 2007 a good year. Unfortunately, fate is conspiring against me. I'm good at problem-solving, and I'm good at coping with emergencies, and I can keep my head in a crisis as long as there's something I can do. Activity, and the process of fixing things, keeps me going - it's only when there's nothing left to do that I get frayed around the edges.
My husband lost his job this week - his company laid him off, no fault on either side. He's job-hunting, and handling it amazingly well, but..... there's nothing I can do. I can't fix this, I can't really affect it at all, and there's not much I can really do to impact our quality of life in the meantime, other than keep working and not binge-spend. Not that I usually do that, either.
And, of course, this hit us the day after we placed an offer on a particularly nice house. Luckily, that meant we had time to pull the offer before we were bound into any unbreakable contracts, but that also means that the other major project I had to focus on has been back-burnered indefinitely, too.
I've got other things to focus on. I have smaller, less life-impacting projects, and I have work to do, and I'm doing my best not to let the anxiety take too big a bite out of me. And y'all have been helping with that - the comments on my last entry have given me some much-needed grins. Even so, I'm up against the kind of conflict I handle least well, that being one I can't do anything about except worry.
So if you see me looking kind of hidden or hunted over the next little while, until our lives get back on a more even keel, I apologize in advance. I'm doing my best to keep shining, but I'm finding I need more and more off-time to support those moments that I'm on.....
