Shining As Hard As I Can

[ladysprite]

As much as Arisia was good, and as much as I was trying to ride the positive wave of that for as long as I could, I'm starting to run out of sunshine in my soul.

I'm doing the best I can to make 2007 a good year. Unfortunately, fate is conspiring against me. I'm good at problem-solving, and I'm good at coping with emergencies, and I can keep my head in a crisis as long as there's something I can do. Activity, and the process of fixing things, keeps me going - it's only when there's nothing left to do that I get frayed around the edges.

My husband lost his job this week - his company laid him off, no fault on either side. He's job-hunting, and handling it amazingly well, but..... there's nothing I can do. I can't fix this, I can't really affect it at all, and there's not much I can really do to impact our quality of life in the meantime, other than keep working and not binge-spend. Not that I usually do that, either.

And, of course, this hit us the day after we placed an offer on a particularly nice house. Luckily, that meant we had time to pull the offer before we were bound into any unbreakable contracts, but that also means that the other major project I had to focus on has been back-burnered indefinitely, too.

I've got other things to focus on. I have smaller, less life-impacting projects, and I have work to do, and I'm doing my best not to let the anxiety take too big a bite out of me. And y'all have been helping with that - the comments on my last entry have given me some much-needed grins. Even so, I'm up against the kind of conflict I handle least well, that being one I can't do anything about except worry.

So if you see me looking kind of hidden or hunted over the next little while, until our lives get back on a more even keel, I apologize in advance. I'm doing my best to keep shining, but I'm finding I need more and more off-time to support those moments that I'm on.....

Comments

[pagawne.livejournal.com]

Love and hugs and prayers for a really great job for Arnis next week. You have our phone number is talking will help.

Now, have a cup of tea and a couple of scones and try to relax.

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

I really hope the job search works out well and that an even better house comes along. In the meantime, I'm pulling for you. Let me know if there's anything you need.

*hugs*
LMG

[flowing-dancer.livejournal.com]

What kind of work does he do?

{HUG}

[sonata960.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I agree with the previous post - what kind of work does he do (you never know who on LJ might be able to help with info on open jobs).

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Hm. Darlin', I want you to be happy, and when you do, you shine. But I sure as heck don't want you burning yourself from the inside out to make pretty light to look at.

I don't know if this will help - I know it often wouldn't help me - but if the only thing you can do is worry, well... why worry? Be mindful, and aware; keep your eyes open for a chance to do something to make things better. But what will be, will be, whether you worry or not.

And yeah, "stop worrying", that's not easy. I don't know if a person can stop worrying. But sometimes, if you find something to keep yourself occupied, you can "not worry", if you understand the distinction.

Good luck and wonderful jobhunting vibes are sent to Arnis; I hope things get better for you both.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

I hope that he, and both of you, will find something even better very soon.

[98.livejournal.com]

Aw, crap. Best wishes for speedy, wonderful re-employment and general good luck and happiness.

[sdavido.livejournal.com]

As I belatedly left for him, my sympathies, and I'll be happy to pass along anything I hear . . .

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Work on planning to come to Ottawa for my cottage party at the start of July. :)

[mneme]

ouch. Good luck to the both of you!
*hugs*

[jducoeur]

Hugs, and understood...