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Don't It Make My Black Eye Green
Jan. 19th, 2012 09:31 pmAll right. I'm starting to feel better. Today was the first time I haven't had a fever since things started, and while I'm still weak as a three-day-old kitten, I'm keeping down such complicated and exciting foods as toast and scrambled eggs.
So, the dreaded norovirus itself has been more or less defeated. Right now, I am more challenged by the one side effect that I am left to cope with, the enormous shiner on my right eye. Just as I am the only person I know who can sever an artery baking a cake, I am also apparently the only person who can give themselves a black eye by getting stomach flu.
And it's a doozy. Swollen enough that it's in my peripheral vision no matter what I do, so tender that I'm dreading trying to take my contacts out tonight, and, at this point, starting to undergo that magical color transformation where bruises turn from purple to Herman Munster green. I had no idea that black eyes came with so many interesting details.
At least it will lend credibility to my claims of having been well and truly ill when I go back to work on Monday - though there's a part of me that would really like to come up with a more exciting and glamorous explanation of how this happened.... ideas? Suggestions?
(I really, honestly thought that not drinking would save me from ever having to wind up passed out on the bathroom floor. But noooo, fate just has to get her laughs....)
So, the dreaded norovirus itself has been more or less defeated. Right now, I am more challenged by the one side effect that I am left to cope with, the enormous shiner on my right eye. Just as I am the only person I know who can sever an artery baking a cake, I am also apparently the only person who can give themselves a black eye by getting stomach flu.
And it's a doozy. Swollen enough that it's in my peripheral vision no matter what I do, so tender that I'm dreading trying to take my contacts out tonight, and, at this point, starting to undergo that magical color transformation where bruises turn from purple to Herman Munster green. I had no idea that black eyes came with so many interesting details.
At least it will lend credibility to my claims of having been well and truly ill when I go back to work on Monday - though there's a part of me that would really like to come up with a more exciting and glamorous explanation of how this happened.... ideas? Suggestions?
(I really, honestly thought that not drinking would save me from ever having to wind up passed out on the bathroom floor. But noooo, fate just has to get her laughs....)
