Don't It Make My Black Eye Green

[ladysprite]

All right. I'm starting to feel better. Today was the first time I haven't had a fever since things started, and while I'm still weak as a three-day-old kitten, I'm keeping down such complicated and exciting foods as toast and scrambled eggs.

So, the dreaded norovirus itself has been more or less defeated. Right now, I am more challenged by the one side effect that I am left to cope with, the enormous shiner on my right eye. Just as I am the only person I know who can sever an artery baking a cake, I am also apparently the only person who can give themselves a black eye by getting stomach flu.

And it's a doozy. Swollen enough that it's in my peripheral vision no matter what I do, so tender that I'm dreading trying to take my contacts out tonight, and, at this point, starting to undergo that magical color transformation where bruises turn from purple to Herman Munster green. I had no idea that black eyes came with so many interesting details.

At least it will lend credibility to my claims of having been well and truly ill when I go back to work on Monday - though there's a part of me that would really like to come up with a more exciting and glamorous explanation of how this happened.... ideas? Suggestions?

(I really, honestly thought that not drinking would save me from ever having to wind up passed out on the bathroom floor. But noooo, fate just has to get her laughs....)

Comments

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I'm just relieved to see you're over the worst of it. I got Norovirus once and it was horrible.

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

Will you thwap me with a fish if I suggest leeches? :-)

[mermaidlady]

It's really a shame that when you were treating that kangaroo, she lost control and gave you a left jab to the eye.

[kittyblue.livejournal.com]

Seconded!

[droewyn.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're feeling better, but be prepared for some comments from clients. Years ago when I got hit by a car that experience gave me a black eye, and by the time it faded I was seriously considering wearing a T-Shirt to my retail job announcing that no, my boyfriend did not do this to me.

[z-gryphon.livejournal.com]

I have often thought that, in this age, it must be really frustrating to be a woman who has legitimately (as it were) come by a blunt-force facial injury.

[laurion]

Tell them you got in a fist fight with someone who didn't give enough to the 3-day fundraising.

[z-gryphon.livejournal.com]

Just slope into work with an air of extreme personal annoyance and fatigue, slump into a seat, and say with as much heartfelt exasperation as you can muster, "Friggin' ninjas, man."

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

This tops any suggestion I was about to make. :)

[kittyblue.livejournal.com]

YES.

Completely out of context

[unferth.livejournal.com]

Hey - this is Peter, or Mr. Frost's player from Crimson Commonwealth. I saw your posts on the arisia community, followed them here and added you as a friend. Anyone I already like from the LARP who also has Cats Laughing listed as an interest is worth knowing.

Re: Completely out of context

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Ooh - you know Cat's Laughing? That officially graduates you from 'cool' to 'awesome!' And have you checked out coffeeem's LJ? She writes some pretty cool stuff there (I'm as much a fan of her and Shetterly's writing as I am of their music).

And hi, and welcome, and all that. And thank you. :)