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Well, This Is New...
Dec. 29th, 2013 08:21 pmI've had nightmares all my life. I'm used to them. In particular, I have wacky, absurd, bizarre, obviously-unrealistic nightmares. I've never mastered the art of lucid dreaming - while I'm in my dreams I fully and utterly believe that they're real and true - but usually, once I'm awake, I'm able to realize after a minute or two that it was just a dream. The rest of the effects may take longer to shake off, but at least I know that a carnivorous coffee table isn't going to eat me, no one is going to cut off my face and wear it as a mask, and the X-Men are not here to arrest my hamster.
But over the past few days I've started having nightmares-of-waking-up. Dreams that will start out as a standard nightmare, but then (from my perception) I'll wake up in my own bed, with my husband and my cats next to them. Except then my husband will wake up too, and start talking to someone else about how much he hates me and wants to get rid of me. And then I'll wake up again.... in my own bed, with my husband still asleep next to me.... until I notice the wasps all over the ceiling, and they come down and start stinging me and I can't scream because after the surgery my voice still hasn't recovered.... and then I wake up again, and my poor husband wakes up because I'm curled up in a ball hoarsely whispering that there are bugs all over the ceiling trying to sting me.
Bless his heart, he actually got up and checked the whole ceiling to prove to me that there weren't any bugs there, and that I was really awake for real this time.
I'm not sure why this is happening, but it is creepy as fuck and I hope it's a short-lived trend.
Also, for some reason the color blue keeps coming up in my dreams lately, and I'm not sure why. First it was the black-and-blue butterfly tattoo; last night (before the waking-up dreams) in my nightmare it was crucially important that I dyed my hair blue. Someone is trying to tell me something. I'm open to ideas as to what....
But over the past few days I've started having nightmares-of-waking-up. Dreams that will start out as a standard nightmare, but then (from my perception) I'll wake up in my own bed, with my husband and my cats next to them. Except then my husband will wake up too, and start talking to someone else about how much he hates me and wants to get rid of me. And then I'll wake up again.... in my own bed, with my husband still asleep next to me.... until I notice the wasps all over the ceiling, and they come down and start stinging me and I can't scream because after the surgery my voice still hasn't recovered.... and then I wake up again, and my poor husband wakes up because I'm curled up in a ball hoarsely whispering that there are bugs all over the ceiling trying to sting me.
Bless his heart, he actually got up and checked the whole ceiling to prove to me that there weren't any bugs there, and that I was really awake for real this time.
I'm not sure why this is happening, but it is creepy as fuck and I hope it's a short-lived trend.
Also, for some reason the color blue keeps coming up in my dreams lately, and I'm not sure why. First it was the black-and-blue butterfly tattoo; last night (before the waking-up dreams) in my nightmare it was crucially important that I dyed my hair blue. Someone is trying to tell me something. I'm open to ideas as to what....
