Well, This Is New...

[ladysprite]

I've had nightmares all my life. I'm used to them. In particular, I have wacky, absurd, bizarre, obviously-unrealistic nightmares. I've never mastered the art of lucid dreaming - while I'm in my dreams I fully and utterly believe that they're real and true - but usually, once I'm awake, I'm able to realize after a minute or two that it was just a dream. The rest of the effects may take longer to shake off, but at least I know that a carnivorous coffee table isn't going to eat me, no one is going to cut off my face and wear it as a mask, and the X-Men are not here to arrest my hamster.

But over the past few days I've started having nightmares-of-waking-up. Dreams that will start out as a standard nightmare, but then (from my perception) I'll wake up in my own bed, with my husband and my cats next to them. Except then my husband will wake up too, and start talking to someone else about how much he hates me and wants to get rid of me. And then I'll wake up again.... in my own bed, with my husband still asleep next to me.... until I notice the wasps all over the ceiling, and they come down and start stinging me and I can't scream because after the surgery my voice still hasn't recovered.... and then I wake up again, and my poor husband wakes up because I'm curled up in a ball hoarsely whispering that there are bugs all over the ceiling trying to sting me.

Bless his heart, he actually got up and checked the whole ceiling to prove to me that there weren't any bugs there, and that I was really awake for real this time.

I'm not sure why this is happening, but it is creepy as fuck and I hope it's a short-lived trend.

Also, for some reason the color blue keeps coming up in my dreams lately, and I'm not sure why. First it was the black-and-blue butterfly tattoo; last night (before the waking-up dreams) in my nightmare it was crucially important that I dyed my hair blue. Someone is trying to tell me something. I'm open to ideas as to what....

Comments

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Nightmares of wakening really freak me out. Lots of *hugs*, and glad you have such a wonderful husband!

[grum]

You have my most sincere sympathies. I generally have hyper-realistic surreal nightmares that I am convinced after waking I have to go back to sleep to *fix* else that other world be stuck in the hell that I left it. It never works. Mostly I can ignore that urge now. I have only had a few storylines where I dreamed I woke up and those were thankfully reasonably quotidian.

For example: standard surreal dream, dreamed I woke up, complete with sense of dread about abandoned dream world, dreamed I went to the bathroom, woke up for real in a wet bed.

It's really quite annoying. I wish dreams were more pleasant for more people I know. I'm sure someone has pleasant dreams, else where would that trope come from?

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

I HATE nightmares of waking. I'm really sorry they have come to plague you.

At least you know that if your husband says he wants to be rid of you it simply can'r be reality.

*hugs you bolsteringly*

[whiffert.livejournal.com]

That sounds like the movie 'Inception'. I have more vivid dreams as I get older, and I am beginning to have the line between dream and reality blur, false memories and the like. I have heard that physical discomfort can drive this sort of thing, and with my achy joints, I can believe it. Also, I recently heard that people who sleep on their left sides have more intense dreams. Not too sure if that can be believed.

[aishabintjamil.livejournal.com]

Something to consider - are you still on medications from your surgery that you don't normally take? Sometimes those can have very odd effects. I had a housemate who had some very odd nightmares as a side-effect of a pain medication. I notice a change in the quality and quantity of my dreams from even a large dose of ibuprofen.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Sorry this is tormenting you... hope it's short-lived!

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

Blue is one of the colors I associate with protection. Do you have some kind of night-time warding/protection/"psychic hygiene" routine that you do before going to sleep? If so, you might want to work the color blue into your visualizations.

If you don't have such a practice, I *highly* recommend you put one into place, especially since you're having recurrent nightmares*. Please contact me via email if you want suggestions for how to create something and/or tailor it to your needs.

---
* though I do agree that your meds likely have something to do with your nightmares... my anti-seizure meds made my dreams weird and unpleasant for a while, and I also have dream issues if I miss a dose. But a warding practice can't hurt anyway, and may help even with that.

[crash-mccormick.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'd check for medicine side-effects first and then the possibility of hormone or micronutrient variations as a direct side effect which is causing this as s secondary.

[kitanzi.livejournal.com]

Waking nightmares are some of the worst. If blue consistently shows up, do you think you can learn to recognize it as an indication that you ARE in a dream?

[hermitgeecko.livejournal.com]

As a kid, I used to have waking-up nightmares. They usually went something like:

...nightmarenightmare NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE --

Phew! I'm awake! None of that was real! How wonderful!

I'll go get a drink of water or somethAUGGGGH THE NIGHTMARE WAS REAL THE MONSTER IS HERE I AM IN IT FOR REAL

So - lots of sympathy, and hoping your brain stops that soon.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Well, I could recommend doing a bit of reading on journeying, or seeing if there's a local class from someplace like the Foundation for Shamanic Studies. (I recommend them because they're a very simplified intro.)

The reason I suggest this is that journeying is a kind of focused walk through dream-like states. By learning to make conscious choices to step in or out, you might find yourself feeling less trapped. (At the same time, please keep in mind that I have no personal experience of your problems - so this is all speculation. It does help with some waking issues I have that seem vaguely similar.)