Back Where I Used To Be
Jul. 8th, 2005 09:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyspriteOh, boy! Nightmares - just what I needed and wanted right now! You know, I was thinking to myself the other day that life was wonderful and magnificent and stable and smooth and comfortable for the first time in ever so long, and that the only thing that could possibly make it better would be to spend half the night in a semihysterical state dreaming that my cat was dying thanks to repeated medical blunders and negligence on my part.
In some ways, it was better when I was getting nightmares every night. Admittedly, I was a bit jittery and I didn't sleep much, but the individual dreams didn't bother me. Now, they come just infrequently enough that I have time to relax and let my guard down in between, so each one catches me unawares.
On the other hand, I suppose if my life is going so well that the occasional poor night and subsequent vaguely-haunted day is the worst I have to deal with, I really don't have any right to complain. Maybe this is actually some kind of penance-gift from my subconscious, so I don't have to feel too extraordinarily guilty about the fact that things are so comfortable for me when so many of my friends are having rough times. I would rather be able to do something constructive for them instead of just making myself unhappy too, but sometimes that's just not possible. Damnit.
Oh, well. Time to bathe the snake and hit the road for this weekend's LARP.....
In some ways, it was better when I was getting nightmares every night. Admittedly, I was a bit jittery and I didn't sleep much, but the individual dreams didn't bother me. Now, they come just infrequently enough that I have time to relax and let my guard down in between, so each one catches me unawares.
On the other hand, I suppose if my life is going so well that the occasional poor night and subsequent vaguely-haunted day is the worst I have to deal with, I really don't have any right to complain. Maybe this is actually some kind of penance-gift from my subconscious, so I don't have to feel too extraordinarily guilty about the fact that things are so comfortable for me when so many of my friends are having rough times. I would rather be able to do something constructive for them instead of just making myself unhappy too, but sometimes that's just not possible. Damnit.
Oh, well. Time to bathe the snake and hit the road for this weekend's LARP.....
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
advice I was given yesterday morning
Date: 2005-07-08 02:42 pm (UTC)[11:58] one's own problems are not to be compared to others'.
Which is something I know intellectually, but haven't gotten at gut level yet.
One of my PTSD symptoms is nightmares. Constant. Can't even *nap* without the damned things. *sigh*
--g, sympathetic
no subject
Date: 2005-07-08 03:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-08 08:19 pm (UTC)From almost anyone else - especially anyone male - that would sound like a euphemism.
My sympathies on the nightmare, but I realize there's pretty much nothing I could possibly do about it. Have fun in the 19th century!