Up and Down and Up and Down

[ladysprite]

I don't think I've ever experienced an emotional rollercoaster quite as drastic as househunting. I've had tense and complicated and emotionally charged experiences before, but never anything quite like this - both immediate and rapidly changing and still somehow prolonged, as the hunt goes on and on.

It starts out on a high note. Looking at the lists of houses online that our buyer's agent sends us is fun, even if the houses don't all suit us. The good-looking ones are interesting and exciting and full of potential, and the bad ones are entertaining in their severity. And we're learning to translate between ad-copy and reality, so that's amusing, too.

Then comes the list-making. Which is still fun for me, because I'm obsessive like that, but also has the added benefit of making me feel busy and industrious, like I'm accomplishing something. Lists of houses, lists of potential good and bad points, and location, and prices.

Unfortunately, that's the peak. It's all downhill from there, starting with getting ready to see the houses. Anxiety starts creeping in as we get ready to visit the houses and I start worrying about whether they'll be as good as they look and whether we'll actually be able to afford the good ones. Inevitably, this is followed by despair, frustration, and fatalism as we examine half a dozen houses in quick succession, either to find that they're all grim, moldy, and tilted enough to make me seasick as I walk from the den to the kitchen, or perched at the top of a parking-free mountain that even the Three Billygoats Gruff would have trouble climbing under the best of circumstances.

The worst part of this is actually finding bits and pieces that we love, in packages that we just can't accept in their entirety. If we could put House One on Lot Two, and move the whole thing to Street Three, we'd be fine. As it is, it seems that we have looked at every available house in four different cities, and have yet to find anything quite right. This, of course, settles me firmly in a quagmire of misery as I convince myself that I'm being too picky and that I need to find a way to be happy with a queasy cube of blue stucco with six-foot ceilings and an electric stove, in a neighborhood with no on-street parking.

Of course, none of this stops me from perking up when my sweetie asks me if I want to look over the new listings that came in over the past week. And so we start again.....

Comments

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

SOmeone on my FList posted a link to a well-written guide on housebuying. It makes it all seem much less intimidating, and it's probably msotly stuff you know, but it could be useful.

http://community.livejournal.com/blackfolk/4395872.html

[thatwasjen]

I convince myself that I'm being too picky and that I need to find a way to be happy with a queasy cube of blue stucco with six-foot ceilings and an electric stove, in a neighborhood with no on-street parking.

Absolutely not, IMO. It is the place you're going to live for a number of years. You might never find 'perfect,' but you shouldn't settle for something that will make you flat-out unhappy.

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

What She Said. You're talking about a 30-year investment, and (trust me on this) even a place that you really like will inevitably turn out to have some klongs. It pays not to start off at any more of a disadvantage than you have to. Eventually you'll find a place whose drawbacks are relatively minor and whose good points are major, and you'll decide you can live with this one.

[msmemory.livejournal.com]

Hang in there. There WILL be a house you and your sweetie walk in to and say, "This one we could live in - it has everything on our MUST list, and several things on the WANT list." I'm confident you two have worked out a pretty solid list of each of those. Like parking, or closet space, or being on a gas line, or trees, or what have you.

[wren13.livejournal.com]

Don't panic - Sebastian_tombs and I looked at 45 houses between us before we found this one - and despite the repair issues, I still like this house.

[ladyqkat.livejournal.com]

When you find the right house, you will know. Until then you are looking at what is and is not acceptable, what you could live with for a number of years and what would make you miserable within the first week of moving in, and what is promising over what is absolutely "No-Way-Jose" off the list. It is a process and very few people find the right house quickly. The best of luck that when you do find "The Place" that the stars align and the paperwork goes off without a hitch.

[corwyn-ap.livejournal.com]

Give your broker a longer list of towns. Basically any town in which you would be willing to live, if you found the perfect house there. They will hate this, but be persistent.

[mindways]

*nod* I understand.

keshwyn and I started our house-hunt in a winter market, and after a month or so had, yes, looked at everything on the market in our [area + price-range + at least 7 rooms] that wasn't an "as-is" gut-and-rebuild. (Of course, it was a huge seller's market those days, so this likely wasn't quite so many houses as you've been looking at. The two weeks in February when only one new listing came on the market were certainly much less work, although nervewracking in a different sort of way.)

But once we'd looked at enough places (which in our case took until the spring rush, due to the aforementioned relative dearth of houses coming onto the market) we found that the lots-of-looking-at-stuff had prepared us well - we had a much better sense of what we liked, what we were willing to compromise on, how rare certain features were, and in general how what we were seeing compared to other houses. It took us less and less time to figure out, "nope, not going to put an offer on this house"; and when we found places we liked, we realized it quickly.

It sounds like you've gotten to that point, too - so when a house you'll really like does come along you can jump on it.

The worst part of this is actually finding bits and pieces that we love, in packages that we just can't accept in their entirety. If we could put House One on Lot Two, and move the whole thing to Street Three, we'd be fine. This, of course, settles me firmly in a quagmire of misery as I convince myself that I'm being too picky and that I need to find a way to be happy with a queasy cube of blue stucco with six-foot ceilings and an electric stove, in a neighborhood with no on-street parking.

Yeah, I hear you.

Don't let that quagmire drag you down, though. While compromise may be a part of house-buying, in my experience at least, for those occasional worthwhile houses it was more of a "Hey, yeah, *this* house would be worth [compromises X and Y]!" feeling - not a "choose your misery" thing.

Good hunting!

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

This sounds so familiar! I would say we should all get together and commiserate about house-hunting, but I don't know whether that would be too depressing...

[greenman65.livejournal.com]

My beloved go_lemmings and I have this joy yet to come. We are currently enjoying living in a small rented country cottage near to her new job while we wait to sell our old house about 2 hours drive away.

and wait

and wait...

Once the old house is sold all will be sweetness and light again (!) as we get to start the process you are currently in the middle of, which my beloved enjoys tremendously and I just find stressful.

Andy

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday. Maybe you'll get a 90% acceptable house listing for your birthday, and a "deal accepted" for Christmas?