Dangerous Furniture....

[ladysprite]

...or, 'The Perils of Letting Your Pet Banshee Get Too Tired and Punchy'

I just hit my head on the corner of my dresser. It (the corner, not my head) was very sharp, and it (my head, not the corner) hurts a lot. Very sharp corner. I am afraid there might be a hole in my head now.

My boyfriend promised me that my brains won't leak out the hole in my head, because he says my brains are very big since I am very smart, but I'm not so certain. I wouldn't want to fall asleep and find out in the morning that when I rolled over, all my brains spilled out.

And even if they don't, what if Stuff gets in through the hole? Any old thing could crawl in there. Bugs. Or bacteria. A whole big gang of bacteria could just march in there while I'm sleeping, and set up camp down nestled in the wrinkles of my brain. Yucky, anaerobic bacteria in my nice, oxygen-free skull. And they'd multiply, and grow into big mushy plaques, and make foul-smelling gas that would leak out my ears, and people would think that I was all smelly and dirty and unwashed, but it would really be my infected brains sloshing around.... and one day, suddenly I would wake up, and my boyfriend would say good morning to me, but all I could say back would be 'gleeb,' because my head would just be full of stinky infected brain jello, and I couldn't think anymore, and all because I hit my head on my dresser.....

I need a band-aid.

Comments

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Feel any better now? (I could hear your voice saying all that stuff, which made it even more pathos laden.)

You are very silly sometimes.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Feeling much better now, thank you. :)

Sometimes all that silliness builds up inside, and it just needs to be vented before I go crazy and wind up at work trying to do a splenectomy on my Giant Stuffed Opus doll....

[meranthi.livejournal.com]

Thank you. You just completely made my day...:) I hope your head feels better soon!

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

You are a very silly person. :)

A.
Who hopes your head feels better

[rickvs.livejournal.com]

Look at the bright side. Rather than winding up on Planet Gleeb, your plaque-ridden lobes might cause you to think you were in a high-tech holodeck. You wouldn't even have to get up from the couch to change the virtual channel; you'd just tip your head over briefly, like the RCA dog sitting next to the Victrola....