I Am Going To Do This, Damnit
Jan. 2nd, 2010 11:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyspriteI don't make New Year's Resolutions. Sometimes I set goals, sometimes not, but they're more general things, most of the time, and not so much linked to the turn of the year. Things like 'try to get more sleep,' or stuff like that.
But this year... I am setting a solid, concrete, no-dodging-this goal for 2010. I am - we are - going on a vacation, come hell or high water. A real, far away, relaxing, go-somewhere vacation. Where we go is probably going to depend on when![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
umbran gets a job; we can't afford the week-long Galapagos cruise I just saw if he stays unemployed for another six months. But we're going *somewhere.* I'm starting now, setting aside a little bit of money every time I get paid, and we can afford this. I want to go in the fall, and by then we should have saved up enough.
This is scary in a lot of ways. I've always had a problem spending money; growing up poor will do that. There's the deep-down-inside fear that if I throw that money away now, on something that isn't a necessity, it won't be there if and when there's a crisis and we need it. And it's even harder spending it on myself, because there's a strong feeling that I don't deserve this, haven't earned it, there are more important and worthy things that I could do with that money.
But I've spent years telling myself that we'll do this some other year, next year, later, when we have the time and the money. And if I keep doing that, and don't put my foot down and tell myself that this *IS* going to happen here and now and no arguing, I'll never actually get around to it. So. This year. Europe if we're shorter on cash, Galapagos if we're not. For real.
I feel bad, and wasteful, and overindulgent, but it'll be worth it.....
But this year... I am setting a solid, concrete, no-dodging-this goal for 2010. I am - we are - going on a vacation, come hell or high water. A real, far away, relaxing, go-somewhere vacation. Where we go is probably going to depend on when
umbran gets a job; we can't afford the week-long Galapagos cruise I just saw if he stays unemployed for another six months. But we're going *somewhere.* I'm starting now, setting aside a little bit of money every time I get paid, and we can afford this. I want to go in the fall, and by then we should have saved up enough.This is scary in a lot of ways. I've always had a problem spending money; growing up poor will do that. There's the deep-down-inside fear that if I throw that money away now, on something that isn't a necessity, it won't be there if and when there's a crisis and we need it. And it's even harder spending it on myself, because there's a strong feeling that I don't deserve this, haven't earned it, there are more important and worthy things that I could do with that money.
But I've spent years telling myself that we'll do this some other year, next year, later, when we have the time and the money. And if I keep doing that, and don't put my foot down and tell myself that this *IS* going to happen here and now and no arguing, I'll never actually get around to it. So. This year. Europe if we're shorter on cash, Galapagos if we're not. For real.
I feel bad, and wasteful, and overindulgent, but it'll be worth it.....
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no subject
Date: 2010-01-02 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-02 04:36 pm (UTC)All it was was a weekend trip to albany ny (because we couldn't afford much more), but it was really nice to both get away, and to be able to say "We are on vacation."
Vacations are important, and you shouldn't feel bad or wasteful for wanting one.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-02 05:30 pm (UTC)Apparently you're by far not the the only self-employed person who doesn't like to take time off. I will say that for me, it's been utterly amazing to realize that if I don't work, I can still get paid (up to a point). Still never GO anywhere. But the house is kinda our vacation for a bit.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-02 05:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-02 07:38 pm (UTC)Wherever you end up going, enjoy yourself!
no subject
Date: 2010-01-02 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-04 03:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-04 09:23 pm (UTC)You guys could always come along with monsteralice, sid_keeler and I when we go to Mexico this July...