![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyspriteDear Appetite,
Please come back. I miss you, and your absence is seriously impairing my cooking and dinner plans for the week.
Love, Me.
I thought at first that I had stressed myself out to the point of losing any interest in food because I was anxious about a surgical procedure I had to perform today - it's been years since I had to do eyelid surgery, and I'm a worrywart by nature. The thought of doing teeny-tiny surgery with eyelash-sized needles with possibly rusty skills had me tense and sleepless, so I figured that was to blame for everything.
And, well, I *was* stressed about it. And once the surgery was done and everything sewn up neat and tidy, and I remembered that I love doing that kind of surgery - the tiny detail appeals to the perfectionist and embroiderer and lover of all things itty-bitty in me - I could feel the tension pouring out of my body, and my lungs expanding for the first time in days, and I figured I'd be fine. I'd be hungry again. I sat down with my lunch.
It took me almost an hour to force down the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I know I *should* be hungry... I just can't make myself want anything. Last night my dinner plans went all to heck, since the only thing I could even think of eating was scrambled eggs (which somehow don't count as food when my body goes on strike like this). Tonight my husband is all set to make delicious food for me, and while my brain is hopeful and looking forward to it, the rest of my body is just shrugging and saying 'eh. maybe we could just pass on the whole thing? you sure you don't just want to make some scrambled eggs again?'
It really weirds me out when this happens. I'm used to listening to my body, and eating what it tells me it wants. There are days when all I want is green salad, or red meat, or yogurt, and so that's what I'll eat. My body is good at taking care of itself. But when it just goes silent like this, and doesn't want anything, it's confusing and frustrating. And, more than that, it puts me on the slippery slope to disordered eating again. Once I start not wanting food, it's so, so, so easy to start thinking that maybe I want to skip another meal, go a little longer between snacks, eat a little less when I finally do sit down in front of my plate.
Food is a goodness. I want to like it.
Please come back. I miss you, and your absence is seriously impairing my cooking and dinner plans for the week.
Love, Me.
I thought at first that I had stressed myself out to the point of losing any interest in food because I was anxious about a surgical procedure I had to perform today - it's been years since I had to do eyelid surgery, and I'm a worrywart by nature. The thought of doing teeny-tiny surgery with eyelash-sized needles with possibly rusty skills had me tense and sleepless, so I figured that was to blame for everything.
And, well, I *was* stressed about it. And once the surgery was done and everything sewn up neat and tidy, and I remembered that I love doing that kind of surgery - the tiny detail appeals to the perfectionist and embroiderer and lover of all things itty-bitty in me - I could feel the tension pouring out of my body, and my lungs expanding for the first time in days, and I figured I'd be fine. I'd be hungry again. I sat down with my lunch.
It took me almost an hour to force down the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I know I *should* be hungry... I just can't make myself want anything. Last night my dinner plans went all to heck, since the only thing I could even think of eating was scrambled eggs (which somehow don't count as food when my body goes on strike like this). Tonight my husband is all set to make delicious food for me, and while my brain is hopeful and looking forward to it, the rest of my body is just shrugging and saying 'eh. maybe we could just pass on the whole thing? you sure you don't just want to make some scrambled eggs again?'
It really weirds me out when this happens. I'm used to listening to my body, and eating what it tells me it wants. There are days when all I want is green salad, or red meat, or yogurt, and so that's what I'll eat. My body is good at taking care of itself. But when it just goes silent like this, and doesn't want anything, it's confusing and frustrating. And, more than that, it puts me on the slippery slope to disordered eating again. Once I start not wanting food, it's so, so, so easy to start thinking that maybe I want to skip another meal, go a little longer between snacks, eat a little less when I finally do sit down in front of my plate.
Food is a goodness. I want to like it.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-03 01:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:33 pm (UTC)*hugs* Take care of yourself. (: And yes, food is a goodness!
no subject
Date: 2010-03-03 04:45 pm (UTC)I'm sorry to hear that you're in a "food, meh" state, but at least now I know I'm not the only person who goes through this sort of thing.