Pressure

[ladysprite]

Time is sneaking up on me.

I don't mind the change of seasons. I know that fall is here, inching in upon us, has been for a little while now. The sun is still shining, the days are still warm at their hearts, the grass is still green, but the trees are starting to turn, and my commute is becoming more colorful every day.

And I'm okay with that. Seasons change, the year turns, and I can live with that. I love the smell of autumn, and the colors, and the cooling of the air. And it's early enough that none of those feel like winter, or even like the true heart of fall.

One thing does, though.

Driving home from my friend's house tonight, I climbed into my car and started it, then looked at the dashboard clock as I turned on the headlights. 7:15... and the sky was dark. There were a few streaks of light at the horizon and in the clouds around the moon, but other than that, nothing.

Two weeks ago, it was light at that hour. The days were long, and as long as that was true, the summer felt endless and it felt like, no matter what, there would be enough time for anything. Night wasn't late, it was just... more time, more day. Now, the days are ending earlier, the nights are coming sooner, and more than anything else in the world, it feels like a voice in the back of my head telling me to hurry.

Hurry up - winter's coming.
Hurry up - get home, it's late.
Hurry up - today is done, and tomorrow will be here before you know it, and then tomorrow will be done too.
Hurry up - do things now, because soon it will be too late.
Hurry up - before you know it, your time for walking and harvesting and being outside will be gone.
Hurry up - start your winter prep, get ready, before you're caught unprepared.
Hurry, hurry, hurry, it's late, time is passing, summer is gone, fall is here.

And I want the leaves, and the smoke, and the wind, but... I don't want to lose my long days. I'm not ready to hurry yet.....

Comments

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Yes, indeed. I'm an extra bit sad because we didn't get sunny days in western Washington until after Summer Solstice (not unheard of, but we usually start getting sun in June), and then July was... well, best forgotten about.

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

*nod* I hear you.