Pushing Through

[ladysprite]

My mantras for today:

I will not let sleep deprivation and headaches continue to make everything else miserable.
I will not fall prey to old, negative thought patterns.
I will not push away everyone and everything that can help me through this.

I will remember the positive things in my life.
I will believe my friends.

I will not cancel all of my plans.
I will not assume negative intentions, or dwell on negative might-be's.

I will do my best to treat myself....
okay, I can't finish that sentence right now. I've been sitting here and trying for ten minutes, but I can't.

I will do my best to be patient with myself as I work towards a place where I can treat myself as something other than a badly-trained puppy or subpar military recruit. And in the meantime, I will eat, and take things one hour at a time, and I will be okay.

Comments

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Thinking of you and sending moral support. Those are good, strong affirmations.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

Eating is usually helpful, when such a mood descends.

[arachne8x.livejournal.com]

Good luck with these very good mantras.

[gmkieran.livejournal.com]

*hugs* and warm thoughts!!!

[pagawne.livejournal.com]

YAY!!! Those are very well done. I am rooting for you all the way.

P.S. May I "steal" those affirmations? They really are too great not to share.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, when I'm sleep deprived, a lot of emotions rush to the surface, and a lot of negative thoughts have very easy entry to my conscious mind. Things feel truly bad and it's very easy for me to assume negative intent and feel awful.

So, two takeaways:

1) how you feel is *not* an indication that your self-work is failing. It's an indication that you're sleep deprived.

2) although it's terrifyingly real-feeling, it is not real. It's the effect of a biological situation.

For me, learning to deal with this second point has been extremely hard. I kept expecting that I'd come to a point where I could toss off bad feelings and not feel awful again, and I'd been wrong. What I had to do was learn to accept that they felt awful, but remind myself that they weren't real. And then, since they weren't real, I could ignore them - step away, distract myself, etc. - because fake stuff doesn't matter.

[joannahurley.livejournal.com]

+1 It's amazing how easily I become depressed & frustrated and tear at myself mentally when I'm tired. I'm slowly, slowly learning to go to bed in those cases, and I do generally wake up much more optimistic. It's hard, though, because the fatigue feeds back on itself - I want to "punish" myself, so I stay up, say I'm not allowed to sleep yet, etc. So I keep feeling miserable, so I make myself miserable, etc. Cycle repeats.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

(I wrote that "two takeaways" and intended that to be a lot more "so, the two things *I* take away, and might be valuable to consider...". Sorry if that came across as lecturing.)

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

Good mantras, all.

::hugs::

[kitanzi.livejournal.com]

"I will do my best to treat myself...."

Kindly.
As I would a friend.
to something that will make me smile.

All good endings....

[jducoeur]

*Hug*. Sounds right...

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

*sneaks in and sets up virtual birthday cake*

*lights candles*

*sneaks out*