Counterproductive

[ladysprite]

Am I the only person who will deliberately arrange to have... not necessarily a completely empty day, but a day that's got some wiggle-room and free time in it, only to wind up so utterly overwhelmed by a combination of option paralysis and impending doom from the few things I do have to do that I absolutely fail to actually take advantage of said free time?

It's frustrating as heck. I make sure that I have enough time to complete my to-do list and still have a few hours to myself, so I can relax and not stress. And then I look at those hours and I wonder how best to use them. I could curl up and read a book. Or I could be a good do-bee and tidy up the house. Or I could just waste time playing silly games - but that's wasteful, I should be reading. Except I kind of want to play silly games. Or I could get off my lazy backside and put away last week's laundry. But this is supposed to be my relaxing-time. Oh, hey, TVTropes. HEY! Stop wasting time! This is your free time and you should be doing something with it! And are you *absolutely sure* you'll have enough time to make dessert for tonight's gathering, and go running, and take a shower, and still make it on time? Maybe you should go double-check the recipe, and run to the grocery store....

And so on, until the few hours I set aside have been frittered away and I have no idea how I actually spent them, except that I feel vaguely wasteful and not as relaxed and refreshed as I could hope.

There's got to be a better way to do this.

Comments

[z-gryphon.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much how every weekend goes for me during the school year. At last I have time to do... stuff! Wait, I didn't do any stuff yet, why is it midnight?

[siderea]

Can't comment, must play Super Samurai Sweeper.

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

This me, reading LJ instead of doing the gaming I had set aside time for.

[serakit.livejournal.com]

Don't know the answer, but if you ever do come up with a better way to do this, please tell me what it is!

[gyzki.livejournal.com]

All. The. Time.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

That can be a sign of being too tired, and of not having enough time for yourself.

It does happen to me, too, and sometimes I do give myself full forgiveness for it because I must be too tired. And sometimes, if I've actually missed doing some things that are/were really important to me, I start to think about what's affecting my inability to do even silly things.

[joannahurley.livejournal.com]

Story of my life!

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, when I really want to play but feel I "should" do work, I end up with a pile of vaguely dissatisfying small distractions, which meets neither aim. Might help to just figure out what you most want to do and dive into that first, without shame or regrets :)

[citabria]

::blink::

You mean that's not what happens for everybody?

[geochick.livejournal.com]

A-MEN A-MEN A-MEN
Totally understand where you are there. And I find that with my free time even more limited by mommy-responsibilities I have even MORE time trying to decide what to do with those precious few moments of free time. If you figure out the answer, please share. :)

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sounds like a typical Sunday...

[ladymacgregor.livejournal.com]

Redefine your time. It's not "free" time - it's "relaxing" time. That means that you have set aside time to specifically "relax," which may mean playing silly games. (I like Bejeweled, myself, which means I have to go mug my lord for his smartphone, which is where that game lives . . . )

And if you're "relaxing," that means that you do NOT put away laundry (that's not relaxing) and that anything wasteful is absolutely appropriate.

These days, I have to set aside time for downtime after days I know will be stressful, or I end up unable to function at normal speed at work. Sometimes when I sit down with a book I've already read (a new book requires too much energy), I think, "I should be working on those sewing projects . . . " but then I tell myself - firmly - that this is my DOWNTIME, and I am required to relax and NOT work on projects.

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

It sounds to me like what's keeping you from feeling relaxed and refreshed may be spending the brain-energy on judging yourself on your choices of relaxing activity. Silly game-playing _is_ relaxing, it's not wasteful, it's exactly what you need sometimes.

What I tend to have the problem with is "this is my free time, but I really shouldn't be giving myself free time because there's so much to be done with the house and the house and the moving and waaah!" - I need it desperately, and once I give myself permission to actually have it both silly games and TV Tropes are totally allowed and help my mental state a lot, but the trick is letting myself to do _anything_ not strictly needful in the first place.