Converted

[ladysprite]

I would like to take a moment to humbly and shamefacedly apologize to anyone with whom I argued against massage therapy. I was so, so very wrong. And I'm torn between being embarrassed at being wrong and chagrined at not having accepted my potential wrongness earlier.

I will admit, the idea of going to a professional for a massage creeped me out for a long time. Paying someone to touch me felt unpleasantly similar to hiring a prostitute. Like I was too icky and gross for anyone to want to touch, so I'd have to pay someone else to do it. Plus, there was the thought that paying for massage was way too much conspicuous consumption - the kind of thing that the idle rich do, not former-poor-kids. There was no way that I could afford to waste money on something like that, when I could be putting it into a savings account or towards my student loans.

Except.... my job wrecks the hell out of my back and shoulders. And eventually my beloved husband got tired of watching me wince and cry and not be able to lift my right arm much above shoulder level, and managed to gently but firmly convince me to give it a try. And it was weird, and awkward, and I felt kind of ridiculous, but it helped. And the benefits lasted for a while, until it got bad again, and I let myself be wheedled into going back. And again, and again.

It still feels weird, in so many ways. It feels kind of obnoxious and arrogant and braggy and over-moneyed to talk about being the kind of person who has a massage therapist - or to be that kind of person. It feels strange and a wee bit inappropriate to have a person I'm not intimate with know my body and my reactions so thoroughly. But at the same time, it feels better than not being able to turn my head more than ten degrees in any direction.

So, thank you to everyone who told me it was perfectly fine, and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you sooner.....

Comments

[unferth.livejournal.com]

Oh, I so get the awkwardness. Especially the "not comfortable with paying someone to touch me" part. I get that feeling just going in for haircuts sometimes, although that's clearly just my neurosis.

The last woman I (briefly) dated works as a massage therapist; I regret that we never had a conversation about the weirdness of paying for even nonsexualized body work.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Hm. Is this akin to puritan guilt, where, if they could *hurt* you and make you feel better afterward, you'd feel *fine* spending money on it, but because they do nice things to you, and you enjoy it - and, oh, yeah, you feel better afterward, too - it feels awkward?

One way of looking at this is that life should be more like massage therapy, where someone knows how to gently put things right, and helps your body be what it's supposed to be.

(BTW: if you *do* have the syndrome I described above - I have it too. If I have a specific pain, I feel okay asking to get it fixed, but if I just want someone to do nice things to my body, I feel embarrassed. Even though - seriously, this person *wants* money in return for doing nice massage-y things, and I want that more than I want to just have the money. It's no different than buying a book, except the book kinda-sorta is you massaging yourself.)

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's absolutely a healthy dose of Puritan guilt. Spending money on something that makes me feel good and is technically unnecessary is horrible, bad, selfish, and wrong. If I'm going to spend it I should spend it on someone else.

I like your alternate view - thank you. :)

[jjaynes.livejournal.com]

So lifting your arm above your shoulder is technically unneccessary?

[rickvs.livejournal.com]

The way I often must pitch it to Rachal is, is: "A massage is cheaper than the emergency room co-pay, when your migraine gets bad enough."

[visp.livejournal.com]

Just think of it as muscle and joint therapy. Same as you'd go to a chiropractor for spine problems.

[suzilem.livejournal.com]

It can be wonderful. I have cervical stenosis and I've been occasionally dealing with massage therapists who work at physical therapy places since 1998. There also are therapists who work at chiropractic offices. Also, "Massage Envy". The guy I've seen there 2-3 times over the past year or so was in the Army working as a "Tank Mechanic" before he received his "RMT (Registered Massage Therapist)" a few years ago. :-)

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

You live and you learn! I'm glad you're feeling better!

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you've overcome your resistance, but sorry that you're still feeling guilty about it. Can you reframe it as being like going to the dentist? You're paying a trained professional to give you the benefit of their skillset, for the specific purpose of improving your overall health. It's absolutely not like getting a backrub from a friend, even though some people confuse the two.

[medeaschild.livejournal.com]

A million times this.

Massage therapists go to school and study anatomy and related matters to learn the skills to be able to fix body mechanics issues with touch. No offense to my many lovely friends who like sharing backrubs, but this is a different class of touch. This isn't "I like you and want to feel close to my friends" touching, this is professional goal oriented fixit touching.

Professional medical skillset = does not work for free, and in fact I prefer paying for such.

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

"It feels kind of obnoxious and arrogant and braggy and over-moneyed to talk about being the kind of person who has a massage therapist..."

It seems to me that that's not what you're doing. You don't have a massage therapist. You need one, since chronic pain and horribly limited movement are not acceptable states. And you were finally convinced to get the help you needed.

[fenicedautun.livejournal.com]

I generally view my massage therapy as a necessary part of my job. If I didn't have this job, I wouldn't need massage therapy. But I do have this job, and the cost of massage therapy is less than the additional income from the job. (But then, I'm an economist ;)

[black-rider.livejournal.com]

I'm just gonna toss out that if your shoulder/back is as bad as it sounds like it might be, you should probably see a physical therapist. They do massage as well, but it's different and helps more.