Not Going Anywhere

[ladysprite]

So they're actually working on the first ever manned mission to Mars.

It'll be one-way. And it's not going anywhere until 2022. And it's privately funded, and looking for volunteers.

And I don't qualify.

I know that even if I did qualify, my odds of being picked as one of the four to go would be miniscule. And I know that if I did go, I'd die out there. By definition. That's what a one-way trip means. But still.... no Mars for me.

Staying here means I'll still get to lie out on the grass. I'll get to see my friends. I'll get to have pets, and go in the ocean, and bake pies. It means flowers and Thanksgiving dinner and walking to the ice cream parlor. It means tabletop RPG's and tango classes and making plans to go to the Grand Canyon.

Going would mean 22 months in transit, and then spending the rest of my life in a hut smaller than my living room, with 3 other people for company - maybe more; about 2 more every 2 years. It'd mean wearing a space suit every time I leave the damn hut. It'd mean cold and limited resources and potentially dying in a thousand unpleasant ways. But it'd mean I'd be on Mars.

MARS.

I am glad beyond words that this is happening in my lifetime, and that I'll get to watch. And I know it's for the best that I can't be part of it. But right now? I am heartbroken like I have never been before that I will not be part of it....

Comments

[felis-sidus.livejournal.com]

That was pretty much my reaction when I heard about the project. Oh, well, next generation ship...