Money Matters

[ladysprite]

Apologies for the rant that's about to follow, but....

So I've been thinking a lot recently about social classes, and financial privilege. And I have to wonder - at what point of material well-being does one become incapable of comprehending that there are people whose upbringing did not match theirs?

Because I have a significant handful of friends - good friends, good people - who grew up fairly well-off, who are just incapable of comprehending this. They weren't wealthy, and that's all that they see, and so they feel that they grew up underprivileged. And, by extrapolation, that anyone else who claims the label 'underprivileged' grew up in a situation like theirs.

And to be honest, it frustrates me, because... well, there was a bit more challenge to growing up on food stamps, or with sometimes not enough money for both heat and food, than to growing up with only one summer home and no in-ground pool.

I grew up lower-middle class. Food stamps, reduced-price school lunches, hand-me-down clothes from my cousin who was sixteen years older than me. And yet I understand that it could have been a hell of a lot worse, and that there were people out there who DID have it a lot worse - we had enough food (mostly cheap stuff like Hamburger Helper, but it was food), we had a phone and tv.

And I think that's what confuses me the most. It seems like, at some level of privilege, people become incapable of recognizing that some people have it worse. And I don't understand how this happens, or at what point - or when the assumption becomes that everyone starts life off with more or less the same resources as you.

(And on that note, don't get me started on 'We're not rich, we WORKED for our money!' So did my family. The only difference is we started out with a lot more debt and a lot fewer resources, and earned a lot less. We weren't poor because we were lazy; we were poor because no one paid for our education or sent us out into the world with a stock portfolio and a trust fund.)

That said... ultimately what I want is to understand, and figure out how to explain. Because it's no one's fault that they grew up in different circumstances, and ultimately, as I said, they're good people. But I think that finding a way to communicate clearly this difference in experiences and circumstances would go a long way to improving the situation in this country.....

Comments

[meranthi.livejournal.com]

"Have you no poverty on Beta Colony?"

"Poverty? Well, some people have more money than others, of course, but...no comconsoles?"

Vokosigan was diverted from his interrogation. "Is not owning a comconsole the lowest standard of living you can imagine?" he said in wonder.
---------------
It's hard to imagine anything not being water when you are a fish. Sure, there might be some shallow places, but it's all still water.

I think the issue is at least partly that people can imagine less than they had, but only a little bit less. I grew up solidly middle class in an extremely ritzy town. Compared to many people out there, my family was rich. We shopped at KMart for clothes, but at least we shopped for new clothes. But I had friends who got an allowance of $100 a week. $100. A. Week. I had a friend who lived in the rent-controlled housing way out at the edge of town with only a few tiny rooms for her family. But that's about as low as I could imagine. Food stamps? What are those? Homeless? Well, I've never seen one...

So, it's not that they can't imagine someone with less stuff. They just had more stuff to begin with, so it's hard to imagine having no stuff at all.

Don't know if that made sense, but my two cents anyway...

[etherial.livejournal.com]

This is my experience as well (right down to the "solidly middle class in an extremely ritzy town"). Having lived on a budget, I can imagine living on a smaller budget. Having lived with looming and mounting debt, I can imagine drowning in it. But I have a great deal of difficulty imagining what it feels like when one is unable to afford a checking account.

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

"It's hard to imagine anything not being water when you are a fish. Sure, there might be some shallow places, but it's all still water."

+1

[tpau]

this. very much so. esp the Cordelia quote. when iread that the first time i was like... yeah. this. and it is not jsut econiomic, it is prevalent everywhere, i see it always in myself. we assume others are liek us until proven otherwise an dehten we can't always fathom the differences.