I Would Like to Be A Conformist Lemming, Please!

[ladysprite]

I love my fiance with a deep and abiding passion. I love my friends and family, and I love the fact that I'm getting married. I love my pretty wedding gown, and the ceremony writing is actually starting to fall into place, and the chance to celebrate with several dozen of my nearest and dearest is just marvelous.

That said, this entire wedding rigmarole is starting to annoy the bejeezus out of me. Here is an entire industry bent upon making you realize that you're broke, worthless, and all of your friends will hate you forever if you can't afford an open bar and a rehearsal dinner at La Expensiva.

I honestly wish I had a small fortune to fund this one day of my life. I wish I could afford to feed everyone I've ever met bottomless booze and lobster risotto and an entire raw cow apiece, with live music and free pony rides. Or, barring that, I wish I was cool enough and talented enough to just find an empty hall somewhere and sew my own dress and grow my own flowers and bake my own cake and weave tiny handmade baskets and fill them with tiny homemade chocolates for all my guests. But I'm not that rich, and I'm not that talented, and so I'm stuck with a wedding that is going to scream 'frugal' to everyone I know who was lucky enough to have family with money. And it just makes it worse every time my mother cries because she's going to have to live with her daughter having a wedding that's "good enough" instead of Storybook Perfect, because she keeps insisting that it's her fault for being a bad mother and refusing to believe me when I say that I'm happy with chicken for dinner and bagels for the rehearsal breakfast, which makes me feel like I'm a cheap bitch for being happy with that.

Stupid wedding. Stupid social pressure. Stupid inferiority complex. Stupid student loans and stupid low-paying job. Blah.

Comments

[sjo.livejournal.com]

So for your reception, have a potluck dinner and music on the stereo and dancing however. People who really care for you want to see you have a wedding that makes you happy. Your mother cares for you but has bought into the idea that she's a failure if her daughter doesn't have a Pricess Di Winchester Cathedral hoopala.

larpwriting and I got married in a Grange Building, had a friend play bagpipes, and had a boombox play some music during the reception. We danced around an impromptu maypole. We had a nice caterer bring in some roast beef and turkey and stuff. It was not by any means a high-ticket wedding. On the other hand, our guests had a good time, and I certainly look back on it as one of the happiest days of my life -- not because of the ritual, or the reception, or even the maypole. Rather, it was the happiest day of my life because it was the day that I confirmed my commitment to be with my soul mate for the rest of my life.

Take shameless advantage of your talented friends, who no doubt would be thrilled to help you out. I bet there are folks who would happily assist with catering, sewing, decorating, and anything else you so desire. Were I local to you, I'd volunteer.

Absolutely

[madamruppy.livejournal.com]

As one who was fortunate enough to attend said wedding, it was a grand time. I still have my maypole ribbon! It was a fairly simple time and thoroughly enjoyable!

Puggles