Preparing for the day

[ladysprite]

What do you do when your world turns, if not quite upside down, at least decidedly skewed from where it should be?

What do you do when something absurd and ridiculous and wrong happens, and you can't tell anyone about it?

I want to cry and sulk and wait for a grownup to come and fix everything. I want to vomit until I can see the lining of my stomach. I want to crawl back into my bed and pull the covers over my head and fall asleep, and wake up in the real world where this could never have happened.

I want to tell people, make it real and tangible and dealable by letting everyone see it, and tell me I'll be okay. I want to be able to not worry about it, to have faith that it'll all amount to nothing.

But I can't.

So, I'll take a deep breath and swallow my sobs and screams, and hope I don't choke on them. I'll polish my smile and widen my eyes and put on my doctor-face, and practice looking cheerful.

'Good morning, how are you today?'
'Great! Oh, me? I'm fine. Just a little tired. Long day yesterday. Noone pulled the carpet of reality out from under my rug-burned feet, nope. I'm just tired.

'I'll be fine.'

Comments

[gingicat]

I must admit that I'm wondering *why* you can't tell anybody... but I'm not going to ask.

Can I make a suggestion? Write it up in a private (your eyes only) entry. Then at least you'll have the details there for yourself later when they've faded... Records of earth-shattering events are important.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Well, saying publicly that you're wondering why *is* more or less asking.

There are serious legal reasons for me not to talk about this. If and when it's done, I'll be able to explain, I hope. Right now I just needed to vent, and to be reminded that not *everyone* in the world is against me....

*sympathy*

[glinda-w.livejournal.com]

I wish I knew what to say that would help...

Do what you can to take care of yourself, okay?

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

*HUG* If you feel it's something you can't talk about, then here's *hugs* until you feel better.

If you ever feel you DO need someone to talk to and just don't know where to turn, you have my number. You can use it at any time of the day or night, and I'll be here for you in any way that I can.

You are my friend, and I love you.

Love,
-R

[khaosworks.livejournal.com]

Know that in times like this, as always, that you are never alone, not as long as one of us is around. Talk to us if you need to. *hug*

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

(((((Becky)))))

Whatever it happens to be that's eating you.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

I could have written this about my day, except that you wrote it better and more profoundly.

I don't know what it is, and I don't need to. But I do know the lonliness of carrying it around inside and not being able to tell anyone. If you want to talk, about it, around it, or decidedly about anything but it, there are a batch of us here for you, including me, who is just across town.

*very big hug*

A.
who also seconds Tigerbright's advice.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Ouch... you have my deepest sympathies. I'm not sure what to say past that, except that I hope that things get better with the passage of time, and that it turns out you had no reason to feel this badly about things.

Take care...

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

I seem to be saying this to a lot of people lately, but, I'm here for you, and your community is here for you, and if you can't talk about it, we'll still love you, and that's that.