New Relationship Woes

[ladysprite]

I've been with these people for over a month now. We've seen each other more days than not, gossiped together, shared jokes and secrets and advice and opinions. I've done my best to encourage bonding over common interests, and to convince them that, while I'm slightly kooky and outside the mainstream, I really am a sane and likeable person. But eventually, in all relationships, the Scary Point comes. My coworkers are realizing that I'm a Fannish SCAdian Roleplaying SF Geek.

I thought I could be subtle about it at first - it's easy to pass Arisia off as a 'gathering of friends,' or a vague reunion-like event. And I avoided going into detail on my weekly dance classes; just mentioning that I do historic dance is usually enough to convince anyone to change the subject. The only person even vaguely interested was the office Ren Faire junkie, and she was appeased with a response of 'Yeah, kinda like that.'

But it infiltrates my life at all levels, and eventually it's not possible to continue hiding, especially for someone like myself who breaks out in hives at the thought of actually lying. Questions about how I met my husband eventually push to the revelation that he was the GM for my first AD&D game in college. The paperbacks in my purse always manage to have unicorns or werewolves on the covers. And I can't help but enthuse about my latest foray into teaching dance for the Greatest Commedia dell'Arte Troupe in the Entire World.

Unfortunately, while my quirkiness has been tolerated and even occasionally seen as charming in other workplaces, I think they're going to take a little while to get used to it here. Flat stares, tiny smirks, and the eternally annoying question of, 'So, like, do you, like, dress up? In, like, costumes, and stuff?' delivered in the same tone that one might ask a person if they had sex with household appliances were the majority of my experience yesterday when it slipped out in chatting that I do historic reenactment.

I think they'll learn to handle it. But something tells me that I should keep the live-action roleplaying and late-night trips to Man Ray under my hat for now....

Comments

One step at a time

[cristovau.livejournal.com]

At my office (and mind you I work with a fairly conservative marketing department) I leaked my unusual hobbies slowly.

Theater was first. I called the shows local, amateur productions and that was all right by most people. Luckily, the shows were Shakespeare and that can be seen as faily impressive. Might I suggest showing off how beautiful you looked in A Midsummer's Night Dream as one possible introduction? It's hard to say, "Eek, weird!" when presented with beauty.

Then I slowly leaked Pennsic. I had to. I first called it a camping trip and afterwards called it a big amateur rennfaire and provided pictures and postcards - things people can grasp like entertainers and battle scenes and some of the encampment pictures. Calling Pennsic a rennfaire is misleading, but my coworkers wouldn't know the difference.

Other than that, I've never even had to explain my interest in dance. A lot of people accept dance as a normal hobby (and insert their own images of two-step, ballroom or clubbing as appropriate)

You have a active social group that many people would envy if they understood. I don't think you should worry about it being too weird. In the end most of my coworkers say that I'm busy and that I do a lot of crazy things, but it isn't with the slowly back away voice, they say it with a touch of longing.

Re: One step at a time

[spectoria.livejournal.com]

Exactly what I was trying to say...only you managed to get all the words in the right places.

Do you pay a bonus when they work well together like that?

Re: One step at a time

[cristovau.livejournal.com]

Do you pay a bonus when they work well together like that?

No, if you give them too much words get uppity and start wearing purple. They'll line up the way I say and they'll like it.

Seriously, if your words revolt on you, everything winds up sounding like beat poetry. Do you really want to answer "Graciously Green," to the question, "How are you?"

Re: One step at a time

[siderea]

Do you really want to answer "Graciously Green," to the question, "How are you?"

OooOOOOOOOoooooooo! I'll have to try that one!

Re: One step at a time

[spectoria.livejournal.com]

Well I try to keep 'em happy, but providing health insurance is getting to be a hassle.

Re: One step at a time

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

It's amazing what some people will think of as freaky. The selfsame people at one job who talked about going line-dancing looked at me as if I'd grown another head when I mentioned contradancing. (Of course, some of that was probably the whole "Does that have to do with Nigeria?" thing, despite my explanations.) And I once had a boss at a bank who gave me The Eye when I asked to participate in the company-sanctioned Holiday Choir (we sang carols in the lobby during lunchtime for the 3 or 4 days prior to Christmas).

Re: One step at a time

[outlander.livejournal.com]

when explaining pennsic to people, i tend to call it a 'conference' with classes on different topics... I will only go into more detail with a few people.