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I was feeling better, really I was. I was still kind of mopey and grumpy, but at least the world wasn't out to get me anymore. At least, I didn't think it was.
Then my mother called to tell me that our dog died. She wasn't my dog, at least not anymore - I hadn't lived at home with her since I graduated from college. She was more my mom's dog than anyone else's, and I honestly didn't think about her that much when I wasn't home and visiting. Still, I remember picking her out from the pet store when I was thirteen, when I was supposed to be buying a winter coat, and arguing with my baby sister over what to name her, and playing with her, and I remember her being my dog for years before I went away to school. And even though it feels pretentious and selfish, given that I only saw her twice a year for the past mumblemany years, I miss her.
But I could handle it. She was an old dog, with a lot of problems, and she was already out of my life in a lot of ways.
Then I found out today that my father-in-law has been hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat. No further news available at this time, no idea as of yet what's causing it or how severe the problem is or what the underlying cause is. And he's not my father; I've only known him for a few years and while I admire and respect him, I don't know if I have the right to say we're close. And again, it feels so pretentious and selfish to be upset and worried, when my husband is the one dealing with the problem in a much more intense and close manner.
Still.... this is really wreaking havoc on my positive outlook. I have done my best to bootstrap myself up into a good mood, and as far as I can tell the universe is doing everything it can to nudge me back down into the quagmire of unhappiness again. And while I try not to be superstitious, I have far too much evidence to the contrary to doubt that things like this come in threes.
I think I'm going to duck and cover as much as I can, and beg everyone I know and care about to drive carefully, eat your veggies, and tell your loved ones that you love them at the first opportunity....
Then my mother called to tell me that our dog died. She wasn't my dog, at least not anymore - I hadn't lived at home with her since I graduated from college. She was more my mom's dog than anyone else's, and I honestly didn't think about her that much when I wasn't home and visiting. Still, I remember picking her out from the pet store when I was thirteen, when I was supposed to be buying a winter coat, and arguing with my baby sister over what to name her, and playing with her, and I remember her being my dog for years before I went away to school. And even though it feels pretentious and selfish, given that I only saw her twice a year for the past mumblemany years, I miss her.
But I could handle it. She was an old dog, with a lot of problems, and she was already out of my life in a lot of ways.
Then I found out today that my father-in-law has been hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat. No further news available at this time, no idea as of yet what's causing it or how severe the problem is or what the underlying cause is. And he's not my father; I've only known him for a few years and while I admire and respect him, I don't know if I have the right to say we're close. And again, it feels so pretentious and selfish to be upset and worried, when my husband is the one dealing with the problem in a much more intense and close manner.
Still.... this is really wreaking havoc on my positive outlook. I have done my best to bootstrap myself up into a good mood, and as far as I can tell the universe is doing everything it can to nudge me back down into the quagmire of unhappiness again. And while I try not to be superstitious, I have far too much evidence to the contrary to doubt that things like this come in threes.
I think I'm going to duck and cover as much as I can, and beg everyone I know and care about to drive carefully, eat your veggies, and tell your loved ones that you love them at the first opportunity....
