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One Day More
Sep. 15th, 2010 04:33 pmHow is it that I can be going into burnout again so soon?
I just took time for myself in May. Not a vacation, admittedly, but I backed off of scheduling for a while. I haven't worked six day weeks in a long time; I'm honestly not working that many hours at all - a lot of the clinics I'm at right now want me to work short days if at all possible.
I'm doing my best to take care of myself, as best as I know how. I'll admit it's not something I'm very good at, but I'm meeting the basics. I'm eating, and sleeping when I can, and trying to get at least six hours a night. I'm exercising as often as I can. I'm trying to make time for friends, and stay busy but not too busy, and all that.
And I still feel like I did in the end of April, when the world was overwhelming and scary and I had reached the end of my rope.
I'm handling it better now - if there's one thing that all of the time I've spent working on the inside of my head has done, it's give me tools to at least manage my stress and anxiety and keep running as long as possible without collapsing. But it's there. I'm having nightmares again, and insomnia, and migraines. I'm edgy and anxious, and it's taking all of the energy and attention and effort I can muster to keep myself from steering into negative thought patterns.... and I'm not always succeeding, at that.
I feel like I need to go away and unplug and turn off and just escape for a week or so - and I will, next month - but at the same time, it feels like that is entirely and utterly unreasonable. I'm not going through that much; the world isn't asking that much of me, there are no calamities or emergencies or crises right now. I'm a grownup. I should be able to deal with everyday life.....
I just took time for myself in May. Not a vacation, admittedly, but I backed off of scheduling for a while. I haven't worked six day weeks in a long time; I'm honestly not working that many hours at all - a lot of the clinics I'm at right now want me to work short days if at all possible.
I'm doing my best to take care of myself, as best as I know how. I'll admit it's not something I'm very good at, but I'm meeting the basics. I'm eating, and sleeping when I can, and trying to get at least six hours a night. I'm exercising as often as I can. I'm trying to make time for friends, and stay busy but not too busy, and all that.
And I still feel like I did in the end of April, when the world was overwhelming and scary and I had reached the end of my rope.
I'm handling it better now - if there's one thing that all of the time I've spent working on the inside of my head has done, it's give me tools to at least manage my stress and anxiety and keep running as long as possible without collapsing. But it's there. I'm having nightmares again, and insomnia, and migraines. I'm edgy and anxious, and it's taking all of the energy and attention and effort I can muster to keep myself from steering into negative thought patterns.... and I'm not always succeeding, at that.
I feel like I need to go away and unplug and turn off and just escape for a week or so - and I will, next month - but at the same time, it feels like that is entirely and utterly unreasonable. I'm not going through that much; the world isn't asking that much of me, there are no calamities or emergencies or crises right now. I'm a grownup. I should be able to deal with everyday life.....
