For The Record

[ladysprite]

I haven't posted much for several days.

Life is.... falling apart here. Tuesday my car was smashed; Wednesday.... something worse happened. I can't go into detail here; suffice it to say that there's no physical injury to me or mine, but I'm putting every molecule of myself into coping and not falling apart, and I'm likely to be doing just that for the foreseeable future.

I am being held together right now with tension, stress, and sheer force of will, and it's getting difficult and exhausting. However, I am, in fact, holding together, at least, and slowly pulling back to functionality. After a couple days of utter failure to cope, I'm eating and sleeping again, and that's a start. And it makes it a lot easier to hold myself together knowing that I have amazing friends who will be there to help me, support me, and even just be there to provide a distraction when I need it.

And on a more positive note, so this post isn't entirely made out of whine and buzzkill, I performed last night with the Boston Babydolls, and it was freakin' amazing. I danced backup in a couple of numbers, which is always fun (especially with the wonderful costuming and choreography that was designed for us chorines), but this was also my first time back dancing as a featured performer since I started training my new snake, and I had been a bit uncertain as to how it would go.

Performing, for me, is always a rollercoaster ride. There's the slow wait in line as you prep and rehearse for weeks, the nail-biting climb uphill as you wait backstage for your entrance and your whole body starts to clench and a tiny voice in your head asks why you're doing this ridiculous thing - and then the headfirst plummet and exhilaration and excitement and glee of stepping out onstage and doing your thing, whatever it may be.

I'm sure that the performance wasn't perfect - few things in this world are. But... I couldn't tell you it wasn't, either, because it sure as hell felt like it was from my end. One move flowed from the next, my snake managed to cooperate just enough to make it easy while being just active enough to make sure that the audience knew he was real and freak them out just a little, the connection with the crowd was strong, and the choreography just worked. And the hooting and cheering and applause was pretty nice, too....

When I'm not actively onstage, I forget how addictive it is. Right now, in particular, this was exactly what I needed. Now I just need to not wait another two years before I do it again.....

Comments

[metaphysick.livejournal.com]

I hope that the good stuff keeps on happening and that the bad stuff quietly shuffles off to parts unknown, never to be seen again. Looking forward to seeing you perform tonight!

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Cool - looking forward to your being there!

I won't be doing the snake performance, due to the venue's restrictions, but the numbers I'm backup-dancing for are both incredibly awesome... :)

[madamruppy.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry for all the bad stuff right now. I do hopw it is past and over. *more hugs and puggy snuffles*

[pujaemuss.livejournal.com]

*offers more sympathy*

PJW

[hermitgeecko.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that things are stressful and frustrating for you. Having my car smashed would have devastated me, and if something worse came along... I can't imagine.

I'm glad you got to perform and had such a good time there. I look forward to whenever we're next around each other and hanging out.

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I wish I could be there to help and support you through the tough stuff.

And *woot* on the performing!

[z-gryphon.livejournal.com]

Under the circumstances, Regal is willing to share his porch sunbeam.

[chaiya.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Want some exploded soap? It just came out of the mold, and smells like applejack, although it looks like igneous rock ... ;)

[98.livejournal.com]

Our Fratzi offers her belly for virtual scritching by her favorite net vet. She assures me it is very restorative and relaxing for all concerned. I have tried to tell her that scritch-over-ip has some hurdles to overcome but she just wags her tail me impatiently.

Hope life improves soon.

[divalion.livejournal.com]

Lots of love to you, sweetie...hope things get better very soon.

And if I ever convince the boys that me having a snake would be a good thing, I am SO CALLING YOU for tips on teaching it to dance with me!!

[citabria]

I forgot your performances were this weekend, foo!

Whatever happened, I hope the buzz from the performance is enough to keep you making it through it. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Good Thoughts and Virtual Hugs continue. I hope things get better for you.

[auntiemame67.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey. I am sorry things have been rough. If you want to talk, let me know. Otherwise, I am sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

[joannahurley.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, I hope life gets better soon. *hugs*

And I so want to see you perform sometime! I'm glad you had a blast. :)

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Hope things improve soon!

[mbumby.livejournal.com]

May things continue to get better. (The performance sounds GREAT.)