For The Record
Oct. 26th, 2008 11:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyspriteI haven't posted much for several days.
Life is.... falling apart here. Tuesday my car was smashed; Wednesday.... something worse happened. I can't go into detail here; suffice it to say that there's no physical injury to me or mine, but I'm putting every molecule of myself into coping and not falling apart, and I'm likely to be doing just that for the foreseeable future.
I am being held together right now with tension, stress, and sheer force of will, and it's getting difficult and exhausting. However, I am, in fact, holding together, at least, and slowly pulling back to functionality. After a couple days of utter failure to cope, I'm eating and sleeping again, and that's a start. And it makes it a lot easier to hold myself together knowing that I have amazing friends who will be there to help me, support me, and even just be there to provide a distraction when I need it.
And on a more positive note, so this post isn't entirely made out of whine and buzzkill, I performed last night with the Boston Babydolls, and it was freakin' amazing. I danced backup in a couple of numbers, which is always fun (especially with the wonderful costuming and choreography that was designed for us chorines), but this was also my first time back dancing as a featured performer since I started training my new snake, and I had been a bit uncertain as to how it would go.
Performing, for me, is always a rollercoaster ride. There's the slow wait in line as you prep and rehearse for weeks, the nail-biting climb uphill as you wait backstage for your entrance and your whole body starts to clench and a tiny voice in your head asks why you're doing this ridiculous thing - and then the headfirst plummet and exhilaration and excitement and glee of stepping out onstage and doing your thing, whatever it may be.
I'm sure that the performance wasn't perfect - few things in this world are. But... I couldn't tell you it wasn't, either, because it sure as hell felt like it was from my end. One move flowed from the next, my snake managed to cooperate just enough to make it easy while being just active enough to make sure that the audience knew he was real and freak them out just a little, the connection with the crowd was strong, and the choreography just worked. And the hooting and cheering and applause was pretty nice, too....
When I'm not actively onstage, I forget how addictive it is. Right now, in particular, this was exactly what I needed. Now I just need to not wait another two years before I do it again.....
Life is.... falling apart here. Tuesday my car was smashed; Wednesday.... something worse happened. I can't go into detail here; suffice it to say that there's no physical injury to me or mine, but I'm putting every molecule of myself into coping and not falling apart, and I'm likely to be doing just that for the foreseeable future.
I am being held together right now with tension, stress, and sheer force of will, and it's getting difficult and exhausting. However, I am, in fact, holding together, at least, and slowly pulling back to functionality. After a couple days of utter failure to cope, I'm eating and sleeping again, and that's a start. And it makes it a lot easier to hold myself together knowing that I have amazing friends who will be there to help me, support me, and even just be there to provide a distraction when I need it.
And on a more positive note, so this post isn't entirely made out of whine and buzzkill, I performed last night with the Boston Babydolls, and it was freakin' amazing. I danced backup in a couple of numbers, which is always fun (especially with the wonderful costuming and choreography that was designed for us chorines), but this was also my first time back dancing as a featured performer since I started training my new snake, and I had been a bit uncertain as to how it would go.
Performing, for me, is always a rollercoaster ride. There's the slow wait in line as you prep and rehearse for weeks, the nail-biting climb uphill as you wait backstage for your entrance and your whole body starts to clench and a tiny voice in your head asks why you're doing this ridiculous thing - and then the headfirst plummet and exhilaration and excitement and glee of stepping out onstage and doing your thing, whatever it may be.
I'm sure that the performance wasn't perfect - few things in this world are. But... I couldn't tell you it wasn't, either, because it sure as hell felt like it was from my end. One move flowed from the next, my snake managed to cooperate just enough to make it easy while being just active enough to make sure that the audience knew he was real and freak them out just a little, the connection with the crowd was strong, and the choreography just worked. And the hooting and cheering and applause was pretty nice, too....
When I'm not actively onstage, I forget how addictive it is. Right now, in particular, this was exactly what I needed. Now I just need to not wait another two years before I do it again.....
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-10-26 04:35 pm (UTC)I'm glad you got to perform and had such a good time there. I look forward to whenever we're next around each other and hanging out.