Taking Care Of Myself

[ladysprite]

The most frustrating thing about getting over a hangup, or a fear or anxiety, is the embarrassment and general feeling of foolishness that comes when you realize, in retrospect, just how ungrounded your issues actually were.

That said, I honestly think that the best thing I've done in the past several years, in terms of my physical health, is get over my objections to massage therapy. I'm still grudging in my acceptance of it, but I can no longer deny that it helps, and I'm willing to accept that it's not quite the selfish waste of money I thought it was.

After nearly two weeks of nigh-constant headaches bad enough to leave me in tears, I broke down and scheduled myself another massage at the local parlor. This is the second time I've resorted to that as headache therapy, and... as much as I hate to admit it, it works. Better than anything else I've tried, from hot and cold packs to Tylenol and ibuprofen to backrubs-from-friends. It may not be an instant cure-all, but it takes the pain away for a little while, and makes it a lot easier for everything else to be effective.

And... I like this place, and the people who work there. It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable, or creepy, or needlessly decadent. It just feels like another way to help fight headaches and the nightmares that come when I fall asleep in pain.

So I went, and it helped, and I've even swallowed my pride and my objections and signed up for a monthly plan. With any luck this will help beat the tension down to a level where I might be able to feel my shoulders again, and the headaches will become a thing of the past.

And yeah, all of you guys who told me to get over myself and just accept this as appropriate can now say that you told me so. It still bugs me, and I still feel like a wastrel spendthrift, but... it's working.

Comments

[ladyotterfae.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a massage therapist, thank you. It really does help when another health professional accepts that what we do has value, and not just as luxury or indulgence - I personally specialize in chronic pain and trauma management. (Luxury and indulgence certainly have their place, mind you, but that's not my field of practice, nor those of most of my classmates and teachers.)

I'm very glad you found someone you're comfortable working with, who can help the headaches. :)

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Well... I remember hearing a woman who said that, when she was separated, she started going to a massage therapist, to avoid touch-hunger. And I thought that was a wise decision, even though it could be a luxury or indulgence, insofar as she maybe didn't have any specific problem she was trying to solve.

So, I agree with you, but even as something one *could* call a luxury, I still see a greater value in it. (And I sometimes kick myself for not thinking of it myself, at times when I've been human-touch deprived.)

[ladyotterfae.livejournal.com]

Also very true - I do work in trauma, it's not all about physical pain. More than one of my clients are extremely touch-starved as part of their trauma, and while I'm working on their physical pain, the grounding and calming effects of touch are sometimes more important.

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

Yay for self-care! I heartily approve of you taking care of yourself.

[redfishie.livejournal.com]

pain is one of those things, that in my book its always justifiable to spend money on.

I'm very happy that it seems to be helping...and that you're taking care of you...remember you only get one you.

[jtdiii.livejournal.com]

One of the few things that worked for my mother to deal with migraines long enough to get pills down was sinus, head and neck massages. Unfortunately my father is not very good at them. Thus whenever I was local I was pressed into service.

Use anything that helps.

[arachne8x.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that you've found a place you like, and that you've found massage helps you. I've had similar issues with it and only recently accepted that frequent massage is an important part of keeping my pain under control. I used to go way too long between appointments to save money.

I hope the monthly plan pays lots of pain free dividends.

[ladymacgregor.livejournal.com]

I have been going to massage therapy for several years. Decadent it's not - I have enough muscle knots that it's generally painful, but the therapists are excellent at working through it, so I sleep really well that night, and am better for the rest of the week.

It IS expensive. But I look at it this way: when I have a headache (and for me, unless I've been out in the sun and got a sun-glare headache, almost all headaches are about stress & muscle knots), how much would I pay to get it to go away? How much is being pain-free worth?

I look at people I know who are in chronic pain (chronic pain. That SCARES me) and I keep going to my every-three-weeks massage appointments. They are expensive. And they work.

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're taking care of your needs... I can understand how you feel, but just think of it as a necessary medical expense...

[medeaschild.livejournal.com]

I'm still working on this one.

I know, intellectually, that its important and a valuable part of my health care.

Emotionally I don't value my own health care. I don't feel it should take work or effort or time or money. I am disappointed that all of those feelings are wrong.

For me, massage is one of the few ways that my muscles can dependably be stretched. My joints don't offer enough resistance to pull most muscles, I need someone to grab the ends and pull.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Well, two things.

If someone comes up and gives you a playful slap on the shoulder, and you react *really* badly, saying it hurts, that's a bit silly, if you're perfectly average... and if you don't have a horrible case of sunburn on that shoulder. But if you need to heal from a horrible case of sunburn, your reaction isn't all that bad.

Of course, a sunburn is easy - everyone can be sunburned! A sore spot on the psyche can induce all kinds of guilt, as if one is supposed to have a perfect, spotless psyche.

Second, money exists to make you happier. Sometimes, it's to make you happier insofar as you have a roof over your head or food in your stomach. Other times, it's to make you happier because you have a happy-making product or service. You never want to spend rent or food money on luxuries, but money you're just holding on to, that's not needed, doesn't do its job of making you happy. Thrift can be good - saving up money so you can do something you *really* enjoy, rather than letting money slip away. But unless spending actually makes you unhappier than not, well, that's why people try to earn money - for nice things, to have or experience.