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[ladysprite]

One of the many reasons that I always tell myself I could never survive in mundanity is the fact that I'm a very touchy person. Not touchy-sensitive, easily offended, but touchy-contact hungry. I tend to orient on the physical, and it's instinctive to me to be in contact with whomever I'm around.

I don't invade people's personal space without invitation, and I try not to make people uncomfortable - I know better than to hug my coworkers - but for me, not-touching is the conscious decision, and touching is instinct. When I'm walking next to someone, holding their hand is almost a reflex. When I'm talking or sitting next to someone, it seems natural to put a hand on their arm or shoulder. And once I know that a person is comfortable with me, it's that much easier - I'm a lap cat by nature, and with my friends I'm happiest when I'm curled up against them, leaning on them, or sprawling all over them.

After the fact, I always realize that I shouldn't be doing this. I know that there's nothing wrong with it, and my boyfriend (bless his trusting heart and open mind) doesn't have a problem with me snuggling my friends, but I have to remember that not everyone has had the guided tour of my psyche that he has. And I wonder what people must think of me - both the people whose laps I wind up in, and the people watching. Do they think that I'm just some cheap, affection-starved slut, making a spectacle of myself crawling all over some poor helpless soul? Are they right?

It's easy afterwards to scold myself and to say that I need to back off, but when I'm there it just feels right to be surrounding myself with my friends, literally; to be enjoying them in as many ways as I can - listen to their voices, see their faces, feel them next to me when I lean my head on their shoulder or stretch out across them. But I suppose that doesn't make it any more okay.

*sigh* Another addition to the list of bad habits that I need to break, or at least curb. I am a work in progress. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.....

Comments

[jducoeur]

Another addition to the list of bad habits that I need to break

Oh, I dunno. I come at this particular issue from exactly the opposite end -- I was raised in a family that was quite cordial (my relationship with my parents is exceptionally good, actually), but very non-touchy. The result is that it took me literally years to even learn to be able to hug friends. It's still difficult for me to touch most people, even though I know that it's necessary for my sanity to do so -- finding the appropriate space is a very non-intuitive process for me, and not an easy one. I have to agree with the sentiments that being a bit "touchy" probably makes you healthier in some respects than most people.

So I wouldn't worry too much about what third parties think. So long as you aren't invading someone's personal space, and the relevant people (eg, your boyfriend) are cool, other peoples' hangups are really exactly that...

[tpau]

actually, it makes her healthier in one very specific way. lots of studies hav ebeen doen on animas as well as humans about hte effects of oxytocin

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actually, it makes her healthier in one very specific way. lots of studies hav ebeen doen on animas as well as humans about hte effects of oxytocin<sp?>, the hug hormone. it is a chemical our brains and the brains of other animals produces when we are touched or touch others. it is indeed a very interesting chemical. it lowers blood pressure, it sparks creativity and intelectual energy. it is also what causes and cures the "seven year itch". basically we build a tolerance to it and the theory goes after about 7 years it stops working for us when generated as a response to a specific person (thus the fac that peopelget bopred with their spouses safter 7 eyars or so). the fascinating thing is htat the tolerance gets killed and everythign gets jumpstarted when we come in a prolonged contact with children (or i nthe case of laboratory rats, their young). i.e. the cure for the seven year itch is to have children. it is rather amusing. but i digress. what i was talkignaobu tin the first place is that if <lj user = "ladysprite"> is touchy with peopel that means that she is healthier then those who don't do that as much. so, yeah, be happy :)