Trying

[ladysprite]

It's little comfort to know that you don't have Seasonal Affective Disorder when, instead, you just have depression, anxiety, and other problems that are triggered and/or made worse by cold weather and darkness. Mostly it means that this time of year is rough for me, but getting a full-spectrum lamp doesn't help.

But at least I don't have SAD.

I'm sorry if I'm being quiet and withdrawn right now - I'm trying my best to reach out, but it's hard when there's a part of me that desperately wants to cling to misery, loneliness, and fear like a toxic security blanket. I'm doing my best, but it's still hard. If you want to help? Reach out to me, and be patient if I shy away like a beaten dog at first.

I'm trying to keep track of positive things when I run into them - playing with friends' children, going running, planning my holiday cookie list (sesame toffee, or peanut? Opinions?). I'm hoping to spend today baking bread and making stock from last week's turkey carcass; having the house warm and full of good smells should help.

One day at a time, until it starts to get warm and green again....

(Oh! Public service announcement - I'm still here on LJ, but fewer and fewer people are. I can't stand facebook, but I have started posting on G+. Feel free to hunt me down there; I'm under my real married name. If you don't know it, ask......)

Comments

[crash-mccormick.livejournal.com]

I am over on g+ under my full name as well but I don't have a lot of active friends there

[bkdelong.livejournal.com]

I have been in your shoes...for 8 years...so I have an idea where you are coming from. Despite life getting exponentially worsein the last year, I feel inversely(sp?) less depressed and anxious due to the gradual creation of a daily mental health routine.

Still reading your LJ but I haven't managed to make the move to easily follow G+ with all the investment I've put into FB privacy controls & Friend Lists. Maybe a project for a quiet evening.

Do you think it's something from past experience that makes this time of year so challenging? Or is this recent?

I wish you the best in finding better strategies to mitigate or end both the depression and anxiety. I know every "mind" is different, everyone approaches it a different way and sometimes the most intelligent of people can overthink, overplan and catastrophize making planning and worrying this time of year particularly bad :/

I was and am still bad with that when not paying attention.

Thanks for sharing & posting an update. Be well.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I'm still here. I do have a G+ account, but I seldom look at it. I think you found me there and added me, right?

[serakit.livejournal.com]

I'll be back in the world in 2 and a half weeks and you've always fallen into the category of people who are interesting and who I would like to be friends with but am too shy to talk to, so we could do something, if you wanted to and were feeling up to it. (If you don't want to that's okay too; I can see why even if you want reaching out this might not be the best time to make new friends.)

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

Please don't leave LJ for G+. I'm still here. I can understand not liking FB. I tried G+ when it first appeared... but deserted it when it didn't seem to be going anywhere, and then they had the pseudonym stuff, and many of my friends deserted at that point... but maybe I'll have to go back.

*sigh* too many social networks. It was so nice when everyone was on LJ. (Ok, everyone that mattered. ;)

[bess.livejournal.com]

I'm still here too. Just don't post much anymore. Trying to change that though.

[darxus.livejournal.com]

FYI, the thing that was said about Google Plus giving in on their names policy a while ago was a lie.

"Your profile has been suspended.

It appears that the name you entered does not comply with the Google+ Names Policy."

- Google Plus, to me, right now, for using the name "Darxus". They provide the link: https://support.google.com/plus/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=1228271

[guendalina.livejournal.com]

I so understand how you feel. I can't give you any suggestions as I fight it every day, but i can commiserate and understand how hard it is sometimes to even leave my bedroom.HUGS

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Um. I'm in "wanting to help" mode - so I'm going to say stuff you may already know. Please forgive me if you do know this.

For SAD, full spectrum lighting won't necessarily help.

"Full spectrum" didn't have any meaning back in the early 2000s and I don't know if it does today. The government didn't decide what it meant, and no industry standard existed for it. So what it typically means is "we think you'll find this light more pleasant (nicer color temperature (light color is measured in degrees Kelvin))".

For some people, that helps - but that's not the Real And True SAD. Of course, who *cares* if it's the Real And True SAD if it helps?

Okay: but if it doesn't help, what scientists know should help is bright light. At least 2500 lumens (anything less isn't proven to work), and typically the "dose" is:

2500 for 1-2 hours
5000 for 30-60 minutes
10,000 for 15-30 minutes.

More isn't bad, but less isn't proven to help. Make absolutely sure that you have a UV free light and it won't hurt to have clear UV protection over your eyes just as a backup.

You don't want it shining *in* your eyes, but most people have it shining in their faces, so a lot gets in their eyes (just not directly).

That might help. It also might not.

There are new "blue" lights that are also supposed to help. I have no information about them, but someone on the web must.

Dawn simulators are also known to help some folks - and they are cheaper than a great many SAD lights.

Tanning beds won't help directly - they might help you create more Vitamin D if you're low on Vitamin D, but Vitamin D supplements are probably better for you and your skin. Similarly, you don't want grow lights (aka plant lights) - UV isn't shown to help, and grow lights are worse than tanning bed lights for your health.

Okay: end of "lecturing"... hugs, and comfort offered. We're getting closer - just about three more weeks until the days start to lengthen again. Be well, and happy - you deserve both, and are deeply loved.

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

::hugs::

[98.livejournal.com]

Have you found the dog shaming website yet? Perhaps not quite a positive thing but I find it a mood lifter.

Otherwise sympathies and best wishes. I know from my beloved anisoptera how hard it can be to negotiate the dark of the year.

[fractalgeek.livejournal.com]

LJ - Blogging
Facebook - Critical mass friend updates and following bands
Twitter - comments into the either, trimmed so they can be public
Yahoo groups - targeted conversations, mostly about gaming

G+: Too many networks, too many - and Meh!