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ladyspriteI am really, really, really sick and tired of Bucking Up and Being Strong and Acting Like A Goddamned Grownup and being told to just cope with shit.
In the past week I've had to deal with my creepy stalker ex-boyfriend from goddamn high school contacting me again, injuring my neck again so I'm on exercise restriction AGAIN, and finding out that someone stole my identity and about $1000 from my checking account/debit card. While I don't have any work, or enough money to make ends meet as it is.
And right now I'm supposed to square my shoulders and take a deep breath and go to the bank and go pick up a friend who needs a ride and clean the house and bake cookies for tonight's gaming group and be a smiley hostess and figure out alternate means of paying for everything until I get reimbursed and get my new card activated and do this all while I'm on heavy-duty muscle relaxants and coping without my primary stress-relief outlet, but I DON'T WANT TO.
I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. I want to quit this game. I want to have someone pick me up and carry me home and tell me I don't have to play anymore.
But that's not an option. So up I get and out I go. When do I get to stop running on this damn hamster wheel?
In the past week I've had to deal with my creepy stalker ex-boyfriend from goddamn high school contacting me again, injuring my neck again so I'm on exercise restriction AGAIN, and finding out that someone stole my identity and about $1000 from my checking account/debit card. While I don't have any work, or enough money to make ends meet as it is.
And right now I'm supposed to square my shoulders and take a deep breath and go to the bank and go pick up a friend who needs a ride and clean the house and bake cookies for tonight's gaming group and be a smiley hostess and figure out alternate means of paying for everything until I get reimbursed and get my new card activated and do this all while I'm on heavy-duty muscle relaxants and coping without my primary stress-relief outlet, but I DON'T WANT TO.
I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. I want to quit this game. I want to have someone pick me up and carry me home and tell me I don't have to play anymore.
But that's not an option. So up I get and out I go. When do I get to stop running on this damn hamster wheel?
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no subject
Date: 2013-02-19 05:18 pm (UTC)Deep breath. It's going to be okay. It's not okay now, but it's going to eventually be okay.